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Just these days in a glance

2012-02-02T00:36:00.000+08:00

Firstly, to the one who I'm now unable to convey birthday wishes annually due to unforeseen circumstances, Happy Birthday. As you mature this year, I hope you'll also be more joyful and happier.

Secondly, Ryan's back from Hokkaido! He went there for cny hols and we had lunch/brunch at Newton Market on Sunday after he returned. Quite nice of him to drive us there though he was in a hurry to go off after that. I had to go home early too.

After which, Mel and I collected our dance shoes =) So happy. They're pretty and really high. 3.3inch =.= But we had to make do with it cos the factory was closed for cny and we couldn't get our shoes before the performance. Gathering at Ben's place was rather interesting. Mel, Tong, Marilyn and I all brought desserts, namely, jelly hearts, jelly, cheesecake and panna cotta. Haha~ It was like dessert buffet-cum-steamboat thing. We all have plenty of joy and laughter and it was a really good evening. Went home rather late but oh wells.

Thirdly, I've been tired these days doing work, preparing for classes, conducting lab, marking assignments, rehearsing for performance. We've more or less finalized partners for the performance. Of course, there were people who were happy and those who were not so happy with the arrangements and the neutral mixed feelings ones. Me? I'm just mixed feelings. It's not too bad cos someone has to do this. Perhaps it's jsut excuses to make me more accepting? There's only that many senior guys and this many senior girls. In a way, I'm pretty glad I didn't have to do guy's footwork, though I'm not able to dance with my preferred partner. However, that wasn't my priority. I'm pretty glad that my priority was satisfied so it's pretty ok =) Just to settle the partner issues now with the rest who are not too happy/mixed feelings.

On another note, I dislike being termed 'talented' and would prefer being called 'have the ability to ...'. However, in recent days, I think even the mere thought of having the ability to do something is very scary. I think my willingness in doing some things and ability to do them has probably led to all these? Cos for salsa, I learnt to do the guys' part, especially the first part of the choreography so that I could lead the girls to do it so they have more opportunities to practise with a partner and I almost had to be a guy for the lack of guys. People always say I'm talented cos I can do the guys' part but it's not a talent, it's not even an ability that I like that much as I have to do the guys part if there's not enough guys and girls don't want to learn the guys part. I need to thank Daelus for insisting on me doing the girls' part cos if he hadn't, I might just be doing the guys' part for the performance.

Also, for sat, there was a severe shortage of guys at intermediate class so I offered to be guy under Elliot's suggestion too. I didn't really mind it that much as the girls, but me, will get to practise. I guess I don't need that much practise cos I usually autopilot pretty well. So after I danced with Mel, I rotated to Liting and she was like "Hey Guy" to which, I told her it's not like I wanted to be guy. I want to be a girl! I want to do the girls' part and look good like all girls. I want to shine too! But what can I do when there's a sever shortage of guys and I'm the only girl who can and partially willing to do it? True, it might not be much of a difference if I'm the girl cos there's so many girls anyway, but to me, the other new girls will have one more person to practise with.

Which is why I'm in a hate/love relationship with this ability of mine. It's not a good thing and neither is it that bad an ability.

Which is also why I can't find a more competent guy than me. Perhaps it's just better for me not to drive so that there's at least one area in which a guy can be more competent than me... Imagine if I had to keep driving a guy ard cos he can't drive. As a friend, I probably won't mind that much, but as a lifelong partner, I think I want a more competent one. It's almost like for once, I just want to be the sparkling accessory of a sparkling guy who is financially, socially, emotionally, spiritually stable. As materialistic as it may be, I just want a good life, dependable husband, a family of my own..

True, Ryan drives pretty much every time we go out for meals these days since he got his license and I do think that I may get complacent and take it for granted if we always do that. It'll build this expectation of "going out with Ryan means he'll drive" which I don't want. It's nice to travel in a car especially to remote and hard to access places. It's nice to eat at fancy places which I've not tried before. It sounds materialistic, yet as a person in reality, I have to be like this. I can't say I'm not materialistic at all and that I don't mind any guy. It's against my integrity.

I think I might be better off on the shelf.. Reluctantly.

Beware of your email account

2012-01-26T23:28:00.000+08:00

This is just to warn those who read my blog about their email accounts as my dad has recently fallen prey to individual/s with ulterior motives, who either think that hacking email accounts is an achievement of sorts or have a misinterpretation of right and wrong. So, do take note of these people with ulterior motives. As much as I wish to believe that all people are good, kind, caring and all, reality hurts as people who are not, unfortunately, exist on Earth. While you do become more cautious about these group/s of individuals, allow me to correct all typos and grammatical errors found in the fabricated email. The linguistics part of me got the better of me.

--- The email. Everything in brackets and red are my interpretation of how it should be grammatically ---

I'm sorry for this odd request because it might get to you too urgent but it's because of the situation of things right now.

(This sentence is too long. Hello? How can you have so many conjunctions in one sentence. Moreover, you had 2 'because' and 1 'but'. Would be better to shortened it to two sentence and not be overly ambitious. Besides, "it's because of the situation of things right now" is not grammatically correct. It should either be "it's because of the way things are right now" or "it's because of the situation now". Grr.. It irritates me that people can't be linguistically correct!)

I’m with family on vacation in Philippine, I know I didn't mention anything about it to you but we are in trouble,we got mugged last night in an alley by a gang of thugs on our way back from shopping,one of them had a knife poking my neck for almost two minutes and everything we had on us including my cell phone, credit cards were all stolen,quite honestly it was beyond a dreadful experience for us but looking on the bright side we weren't seriously hurt or injured and we are still alive so that is whats important.

(Hello?!?! How can you have this sentence which is this long, connected by numerous commas and merely 1 fullstop? Change every comma to a fullstop! Moreover, "we got" is so singlish and grammatically incorrect. It should be "we were". Also, "knife poking my neck" just sounds weird. Please change it to "knife at my neck". "including my cellphone, credit cards" should be changed to "including my cellphone and credit cards". By the way, locals here rarely use mobile or cellphones. The common word now is handphone or iphone. "quite honestly" is grammatically wrong too as "quite" is redundant. "we are still alive" is also redundant. "whats" should be "what's". Where's your aprostrophe?)

I've reported to the cops here and canceled all our cards,it appeared I had acted quickly enough or they almost would have succeeded in cleaning out my bank account. I'm really having some difficulties clearing our hotel bills and also need to pick up a voucher ticket at the counter for us to catch a flight back home as soon as possible.

(Culturally-challenged person... We rarely use "cops" here and the more commonly used word is "police". Besides, "cops" is so informal!. "canceled" should be spelt "cancelled". "it appeared I" should be "it appeared that I". Besides, who in the right frame of mind would use "it appeared"? "it seems" is the more commonly used one here. "almost would have" should be "would have". There's a missing "in" between "difficulties" and "clearing". "clearing our hotel bills" is not the commonly used phrase here. It should be "paying for hotel bills". "pick up" sounds too casual to me. It's like going to to grocer or supermarket as we call it here, to get some groceries. "get" would be more acceptable to me.)

All we need right now is $1850.00, but anything you can spare pending when we get things straighten out will be appreciated and I promise to refund as soon as we arrive home safely.

(People here are not to fluent in using "spare pending..". The usual choice of words would be "spare while we..")

--- End of email ---

Now for my concluding comments, *drum rolls*

The group of linguistically and culturally challenged people! Please be more conscious of your target profile! Imagine sending an email in English when your target is monolingual and doesn't speak English at all! バカだと思ういます！

CNY eve

2012-01-23T00:40:00.000+08:00

Went to church in the morning. After which, I walked around Zara in search of my shoes but they don't have the particular design anymore =x However, I saw some other interesting ones which I'll consider cos the color's too similar to the ones I already have. Waited for Ryan to finish church before going for brunch with him. Went to PS Cafe at Dempsey =)

Ice Latte

Bacon and something. Can't rmb the name but the portion's huge. Love the tomatoes and scrambled eggs though =)

Also talked about my summer program. Hoping that I can go to Toronto for the first sem with Xinying and whoever's going too =) Cos Ryan's gonna be in Canada in mid May and he could drive us ard =) Sounds really awesome! I can already imagine Ryan driving us on a road trip. So exciting. However, Xinying and I have a backup plan, just in case we didn't make the cut - we'll go Taiwan for a hols =) And of course, if I'm not going Toronto, I'll have to fund myself a ticket to Auckland to visit Joce and she'll be my personal chauffer =p

Back to the topic, we headed to Ion after brunch to get Ryan's clothes. After which, I headed to I12 to meet Rachel and Vanesa for movies. Watched Journey 2 which was decent. At least it wasn't scary and those scary scenes which I thought might happen didn't happen =) Phew! Unfortunately, Gongcha was closed by 3pm so we didn't managed to get our Gongcha at ard 3.40 o.O Sad.. =x

Reunion dinner was ok =) After which, cousins and I were watching some new chinese drama series, the one about the time travel like the Korean manga, The simpleton, but with 14 princes. So far, I think no. 10, no, 13 and no. 4 are good princes. Note that I sad good and not good-looking. Then again, they're probably the only ones I can differentiate from. They should all have number tags or different hair styles or what.

The ideal, non-existent male homo sapien

2012-01-21T23:36:00.000+08:00

Double post today. Cindy and I were randomly chatting over the characteristics we can't stand in a guy. We've got some points in common =p Hence, I'll just list out the characteristics of an ideal, non-existent male homo sapien.

I've identified a few main points which are essential:

1. Aesthetics
He need no undergo aesthetic operations to achieve a particular look. However, I feel that dressing and etiquette are of importance to me. T-shirt, shorts/berms and slippers are reserved for three "occasions" - the beach, wet market and camps. Jeans are ideal but sadly, the warm and humid weather deters guys from wearing these.

2. Social-cultural
I feel that he should not be socially-challenged. Not in the aspect that he doesn't talk much but more of his behaviour. He should be able to behave according to context, like sit still when he has to, don't keep shaking legs when sitting or flinging arms while walking. Need to understand social cues - I'm not going to be so explicit. Culturally, I'm not your typical local girl-next-door. I'm slightly influenced by japanese culture so please understand that.

3. Linguistics
It's a major no-no if he utters consistent grammatically incorrect sentence. It makes me irritated and want to correct all his grammatical errors! "Anot" is not an English word, it should be "Or not". Use singular and plural verbs accordingly and not jumble them up. No singlish in most sentences. "sia" just makes one sound unrefined, I believe. Of course, no colourful language either. As you can see, my ideal is a refined gentleman.

4. Financial
Financial stability is important as well, especially if we decide to have a fmaily of our own. I would most definitely like to send my kids through education, all the way till university at the very least. People with poor financial management also irritates me, especially if they do not know how to save. Splurging is ok, it's just that one must learn to save for a rainy day too.

5. Punctuality
I have lots of pet peeves and tardiness is one of them. I like it when people are punctual or at least have the decency to inform others if they're late or unable to make it. Rare cases of emergency're acceptable.

Yups, that's about it. I still think linguistics, social-cultural and financial are important to me. Linguistics and social-cultural probably tie at the first place.

Operation: To use up

2012-01-21T22:58:00.000+08:00

I've been receiving lots of body shop gift sets (including those that I've bought for myself during the sales and freebies) as well as other beauty products. The christmas set was from Theodore. Dreams unlimited lotion's a freebie. Cherry set's from Kia for my bday last year (I'm using the bath lily now). Nivea body lotion's whatI bought during Rag season cos I didn't want to keep bringing the bigger bottle to school (which my mom kindly offered to help me finish it). The foot cream's from Grace when she went to Israel a year ago or so.. L'occitane en Provence hand cream's from Belle for christmas =) And everything else is what I bought during the sale in august, I think. Except for the cherry blossom one which was from the previous sale session I went for. As you can see, I'm struggling to try to finish using all these products =x I'm so proud of myself that I've recently finished my satsuma shower gel (250ml) which I've been using near the start of last year and I've finished one of the cherry blossom (60ml) over the duration of Rag and the camps. I'm currently using Kia's cherry shower gel, hand cream, nivea lotion and foot cream. I'm hoping that I can finish using them soon.

I do foresee using lots of makeup remover during my cac+us performance and I hope I can finish at least one of the bottles.. Was being silly when I bought 2 cos I thought I'll finish it up real quick so just to be safe, I bought 2 but I've not even used a third of the first bottle...

Anw, my nails for CNY. It's the same design I had for prom =)

Good stuff today

2012-01-16T23:31:00.000+08:00

Today's a good but busy day. Rushed from different places. I've been to science, ucc, arts, com and yih today. Anw, shall just blog about the good stuff =)

Kia bought me this cute hand cream from korea! super cute!

And how it looks inside

Cait baked me some butterscotch cookie~ Shall be my snack tmr =) Looks really good and I think it'll taste awesome too =)

And I bought myself y first pot of china glaze. I love this color. Almost like tiffany blue =) It's called 'For Audrey'

Wednesday~

2012-01-11T22:52:00.000+08:00

It's been 3 days since school started and I'm quite tired already. There's dance on mon, wed and sat which were quite heavy but it's ok cos performance is just next month. Lectures were ok too. I'm not keen in attending MA2 lectures cos the first lecture didn't create a good impression, compared to the NA1 ones which my friends claimed was not very useful last sem. GEK's pretty interesting and I like the module. Just have to watch those plays. SS is interesting. Watched a film today and read the course guide. We're supposed to visit japanese cemetry park before the end of jan, so I've gotta find some time to pop by the park.. hmm.. maybe I can go on sat cos I'm most likely gonna get my dance shoes somewhere in Bukit Panjang and the park's in Yio Chu Kang. I think those places are pretty near each other?

Anw, Xinying gave me this lovely souvenir from Japan =) It's such a lovely lip balm =) She bought 2 for me and they're both adorably cute and petite ^-^ Love it lots =)

And Daelus brought back souvenirs from HK and Korea for the p-team girls too =) Some egg rolls, pheonix rolls, wife biscuits, seaweed, mix bag of Holika Holika, Etude House, Skin Food products =) Yay~

I also feel like going on hols and getting souvenirs for them too =)

The last few days before school starts

2012-01-08T16:06:00.000+08:00

It's the last few days before school starts. Had been busy the whole week.

Tues: Gave tuition. Yay~ A slight increase in pay =) Hopefully I'll do a better job and save up more money so I can go travelling =)

Wed: Had dance today. Quite successful as the important people were there =)

Thurs: Went to JB. There was a sale at mango and I felt really tempted to buy stuff but there wasn't anything I need =x

Fri: Rushed to school in the morning to make payment for studios before heading to Sentosa for class of 09 gathering. We sat at Carl's Junior while waiting for ppl to turn up. Saw these people there: Mel, Cait (I'm so grateful that Cait stayed all the way else I'll be the only rose), Shawn, Licheng, Yanlong, Roy, Perry, Terry, Theo, Maehwee, John (these 3 stayed for lunch only), CWZ, Josiah, Ding, Cheng, Conrad (these two joined us later in the afternoon). Played lots of card games like monopoly deal, munchkin fu. Went to sentosa, wanted to cycle but it was overpriced. So a few of us played a little of frisbee. My skills are non-existant. Then some snacks at Macs and headed back to vivo for dinner. After which, only Cait, Cheng, Rad and I left.. (just realised everyone else's name starts with a C). Shopped a little with Cait before the movies while Cheng and Rad follows and talk abt guys stuff. Then headed to Starbucks for a drink, chill-out and bridge =) Hehe~ My partner's pretty good =p And cait's final move was even better~ She won like 6-8 sets on her own o.O Watched MI4. Cait and my first time, Rad's second time and Cheng's fourth time. It's a really good movie though we were in the second row =x

Sat: Dance in the morning, then dance meeting until 2+. Reached home ard 3 and went swimming ard 4+. Quite a slack day but pretty tiring for me cos I had to wake up early and I got home close to midnight the night before.

Today: Had church, after which I went out for lunch with Ryan. Had lunch at M by the river or something along the lines. It's a pretty neat place that doesn't have gst =) Price-wise for food is reasonable. Ard 15-20 for normal mains.

My Carbonara Pasta

Ryan's mini burgers with fries

Headed back to great world for a short walk before Ryan drove me home cos he had some cocktail and was a little tipsy. At least the ride home's rather safe =) Thanks for the ride~

School's starting tmr and I'm not ready for school =x But I had a good rest this hols and I'm really glad I had this hols. On towards my next long hols from May to Aug =)

My new year treat =)

2012-01-03T00:04:00.000+08:00

Had a haircut today with cousin Rachel at Reds. Mine was done by Roger while hers by Chiew. I like my hair. Nothing fancy done. Just a simple cut, wash and blow. A little on the pricey side but wells, it isn't everytime that I get my hair done by a professional (I usually just snip off my hair whenever I feel like. Even more so during exam weeks). It's around $50 but I think the good service is commendable. The lady washing my hair didn't seem to be the higher-up stylists as the stylists told her to wash our hair which she did a good job, interacting with customers and checking if we're alright. She also blew dry our hair even though it might have been quite warm working with the hairdryers. The stylists cut our hair skilfully and interacted with us too.As I look back, it reminds me of those people who probably didn't go through the cambridge exam systems who dedicated their lives to learning a life-long skill such that people from all walks of life could have higher self-esteem.

I've always thought that getting a degree was important and will secure one a job but I realised, it's not the only route to a job. There are other routes which may be tougher and longer to walk (though getting a degree doesn't secure any job in this decade) but it could be more fulfilling.

I've still have 1.5 to 2.5 more years of education before I graduate and step into the working world. I'm still undecided. If I should graduate after 3 years or 4 years. If I graduate in 3 years, my masters course will be 2 years and if I graduate in 4 years, my masters course will be 1 year (provided I do take masters). I think most of my friends intend to graduate in 1.5 years. Some are graduating in a year (shortened their course). I'll either graduate in 2013 or 2014. With masters, maybe 2015 and I'll be 24 by then. So I'm not too sure what I should do. I don't have a plan of what career I want.

When I was young, I wanted a career in the entertainment industry. However, given my physical appearance, it may not be that possible since I can't sing well or act well. Then I thought maybe in the education industry. I tried internships. Mixed feelings about it. Sometimes it's fulfilling, sometimes it's stressful (at least to me) when I worry about ruining my students' life if they don't do decently for academia. Then, I thought of doing business. Running my little patissiere, selling cakes and sweets. I'm not that good at baking and perhaps it's a different route my parents (or more of my dad) wanted me to walk. I thought of being a housewife and taking care of my children but finding the right person is difficult and raising a kid right is difficult too. Nothing in life is easy, even with a degree. Since I'm so undecided, I decided to pick up as much soft skills as I can in uni. Learn as many languages and be proficient in them as I can. Pick up computing and programming codes.

I don't regret doing my current course either. It's fun but tough to get that A or A-, given the steep bell-curve, my procrastination and inconsistent practice.

To end off on a lighter note.. I did my nails~

Excuse Moi! by OPI =)

New Year's eve meal

2011-12-31T21:56:00.000+08:00

New Year's eve is kinda different this year. Didn't think I'll have this much fun. Had dance in the morning where we learnt some shines =) After which my parents came to pick me up for lunch. Had my favourite penang fried kway teow. Came home, read some manga, napped a little and out for dinner with Ryan.

Ryan's pretty interesting cos he was on the road even before we decided what to eat so he drove around with gps. Headed to Rochester Park first. They had 1 caramel there but the food's new year eve's menu so it was really pricey =x But we found a healing cafe thingy where we had juice and apple pie with soyato ice cream. It's all organic and high quality ingredients, or so the head chef says. Plus, we had the last apple pie they had =)

Ryan's ABC juice. I think it's got apple, beetroot and carrot or something. Mine's got pear, ginger, cinnamon and calamansi =) It's got a weird taste at the start cos ginger and calamansi were pretty dominant but I was less sensitive to it after a while.

Apple pie with soyato ice cream =) Apparently the apples are organic and they used organic vanilla pods too. Moreover, this dessert is less sinful than the usual apple pie.

Drove to dempsey hill for a while but couldn't find something nice to eat so we headed to UE square to district 10. Walked a little around Liang Court too and went to Meidiya =) Oh, there were japanese families there and the kids were so cute!

Had dinner at district 10. Lovely place. Something liek Brotzeit, a bar/restaurant concept.

Our mocktail. Ryan's got the one on the right called Gunner and mine's Intimate Passion (or something) Not bad but mine was kinda sour due to all the berries in it.

My german sausages. Weiserwurst, I think.. Not bad but really filling. Especially the mashed potatoes but the onion sauce is good.

Ryan's Wagyu Meatballs. It's pretty good actually especially if I say so cos I'm not really a beef person.

Pavlova. The passion fruit ice cream was good but the meringue thingy was so-so. Kinda sweet actually =x

Then Ryan drove me home and I had to help him set the gps to direct him home cos he doesn't know the way. Hahaha~ Overall, I think it's pretty good this year~ Now I'm home and ready to count down with my parents cos my bro's out =p

The other side of ..

2011-12-25T23:38:00.000+08:00

First off, Merry Christmas everyone! =) Hope it's been a great christmas for you~

Today I had church in the morning and caught up with my church friends while mom chatted with hers over tea. We were talking about relationships and Bernadette said something rather interesting. She said that she wanted to meet the guy who will break her heart and make her fall into depression (ok, maybe not that serious). When Grace and I were curious as to why so, she said that she wanted to experience that feeling so that she could put herself in others' shoes as she has yet to experience that.

I guess that's a rather unique way of thinking. Cos I've met that guy. It wasn't horrible or terrible. I just felt really upset and for periods of time, I used fantasy as a form of escapism. Memories were replayed and roleplayed over and over again, with different scenarios, different endings. I felt that it was the only way then, to keep me seemingly fine and smiling at school and at home while crying myself to sleep at night. Puffy eyes were common then. Wells, I could have had some form of depression I never knew cos I never went to any psychaitrist or whatsoever. It wasn't a bad memory. It was a lesson for me. A painful one but through it, I matured, I guess. yet unknown to many, I probably was never as strong as I look.

I'm sensitive too. The fear of irritating people has probably heightened my sensitivity, resulting in me saying "sorry" more often to "reduce irritation" and has ended up irritating people even more cos of my constant apologies.

I never had many friends. Changing schools could be a reason. Transfering in could be another. Supposed superiority could be another. Insufficient social abilities could be another. I had some friends at some point in time but they usually don't last that long. I guess Kia and Mel are the longest so far..5 years and still going. I don't like people to know of my family background. In general, I have some educators in my family. To others, it seemed as though I could control the education department (which I really have no control over and I don't wish to either..). Preferential treatment? I guess I might have gotten that sometimes. With principals who are on good terms with my relatives, I just didn't want to let anyone know so that I could live like any normal student in school. Perhaps it could be another reason.

Yea, I have been very blessed with a decent family, decent family background and all.. But, it didn't determine my social skills. Since young, I had different taste and interest. While people were playing with Barbie dolls, some fo my friends and I were playing with Sylvanian dolls (if you haven't heard of it, it's some atas doll set with house and shops. My collection was worth hundreds of dollars at its peak until I gave them away when I outgrew them). No one in my class was interested in rhythmic gym and my friends had their own friends from their clases. I love dance, yet no one in my class was in dance. Made some new friends during CCA who were more or less equally the lone brave soul in their class who joined the CCA.

One of my teacher refused to write me a recommendation letter when I wanted to transfer school. She probably knew. It's probably another escapism but to me, it was another opportunity. Another teacher wrote it for me and I was accepted. Yet I kept it hush-hush and probably only Ringo knew about it on my last day of school. I just vanished from school without informing others.

After a while, I still was the only person from my class who's in cheerleading but I wasn't the only one for dance which I was really grateful for. I had more opportunities to become a better leader. I wasn't too sociable but my role required me to. Making the morning announcement was one of my most memorable duties. I did get rather well-known in school cos of that too which is a pity cos I don't really know the rest as well as they knew me.

Met "Mr Supposed-to-be Right". The days were joyful until that eventful day. Was "stalked" by a junior too. Only my close friends knew. And the school counsellor cos I went to see her once about it. Still stalked until I graduated. I had Kia and Mel to keep me going, especially Kia.

Yes, I somewhat have a fear of guys. I cannot stand it if they enter my personal space unless I'm close to them. It annoys me especially if I'm on the bus, seated at the window seat and the guy next to me sits with legs positioned no smaller than an obtuse angle. I'm afraid of guys coming too close to me. Unfortunately, some guys are on my "caution" list.

It's so ironic that I yearn to be loved and yet I'm afraid to accept.

皆さん、来年、何が欲しい？
あたしは来年…男の人が私に恋をしたくない。良い男の人を見つけることができないから。

Yumeiro Patissiere

2011-12-23T23:49:00.000+08:00

I feel really inspired to start baking and making lots of sweet treats after reading this manga series. I guess it's been a really long time since I felt so inspired to bake. It's been so long that I've forgotten my first intentions when I started baking regularly -- to put a smile on my friends' faces. After graduating from high school, it's been tough and I've not baked much. Tried eagerly to bake for my OG once but didn't manage to pass to everyone and it seemed much different from high school. It's no longer the same as Kia, Mel, Chel, YH, Rad, Theo, Cheng, Jack, Ben, Yiwei, Hena and all smiling and eating my sweet treats.

Now, I've seemed to have gotten this feeling back and I hope to continue making more sweet treats. I've made pudding last night and red velvet cupcake today. There's still leftover cream cheese which I intend to use for a roll cake but my mom suggested making carrot cake (not the local chai tao kway) so I'll see =p

--------
Went to watch Shelock Holmes with Ryan today. After which, we headed to vivo so Ryan could do his last minute christmas shopping for friends. Was spotted by Janyce but oh wells. I guess there's no need to explain or what since I've no intention of being in a relationship. I'm tired of it. Tired of having my own set of criteria and trying to bend to fit it to the characteristic of particular people or perhaps closing one eye or something. There's only one criteria now, which is also the most important one -- If I love the person.

Someone once taught me how to love and I hope I remember that feeling.

I love christmas shopping!

2011-12-22T00:14:00.000+08:00

The past few days had been as follows:

Monday:
Went out with Chua! Haven't met her in ages. I guess the last time I saw her was when she was at TNPNF contest =) Had Ajisen Ramen for lunch and walked ard Clementi Mall. It's great catching up with her and all =) Glad that everything's going smoothly for her and I guess it's gonna be a pretty major transition for her now that she's graduated from high school. On with uni and she's not too sure of what to do and such. I had those moments too but I'm more of the ok-I'll-just-try-this type =p Bought two tins of after dinner games =) Hehe~ Those will be part of my christmas presents from my aunts =) I bought some hair dye too~ Chua helped to pick a color =) Guess I'll dye my hair soon. It's french chocolate but I'm not sure what the outcome will be. It's not a very vibrant color cos I prefer more subtle ones.

Tues:
Went out with Theodore to fix his sister's bracelet. While we were at vivo, he also pciked our christmas gifts for his mom and sister~ Then we headed onto Logos Hope (the ship with book sales that travels round the world and docks at vivo annually). Quite interesting. They were selling some McGraw Hill textbooks (saw some human anatomy ones which I presume are for Medicine) at 3 for $20 =) There were other books too, like recipe books, children novels, fictions and such. After which, we had tea at Fruits Paradise. He gave me his textbook which I'ld need for next sem's mod so treated him to tea (but I felt it's not enough..)

Today:
Went to Bugis with Grace to pick out more christmas gifts. She and Daniel korkor picked out something for Aunt Joanne and her dad (after a long while) =) Had macs for dinner before Grace and I headed to look for my handbags. I had a hard time deciding which one I wanted. They were both Carlo Rino but one is black which had 20% and the other is a fairytale collection bag and wallet set which had no discount. But I finally picked the black one cos the fairytale collection one had this ribbon which felt uncomfortable if I were to carry it on my shoulders. Yay~ I think I shouldn't buy anymore bags. I'ld probably invest in a Coach one in two to three years' time (when I start working) and maybe a Burberry one when I'm much older (30s?). But I won't bring my CR bag to school. It's not that big to fit all my textbooks and I don't think I should bring such brands to school (though I've seen a few LVs in school). I wanted to get the frilly top which I saw two weeks ago but it's gone now =x Haiz, I'm not fated to get that top afterall. Nvm, shall save up my christmas money for other things, like decent shoes =) Grace wanted to get some lipstick but she decided against it after a while cos there wasn't much of a difference after the application.

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I bought the black CR bag cos I figured that if I wanted the other CR bag, it'll probably still be there next year =p So I could get it for my bday. So while I was at it, I thought ofa list of things I don't mind receiving next year for my bday.

I guess it might be useful to whoever's gonna get me a gift. Not sure if my parents will cos they're paying for food and such =x

Guideline to shopping for presents for yours truly =)
- Try not to spend too much on it. If you're not working full-time, a gift of not more than $20 is pretty decent =) If you're working full-time, any gift is fine as long as it's not too expensive.
- Please do not get me anything more expensive (even if you share it with others) than products of Guess/CR lines. I.e. no LV, Burberry, Tiffany&Co and other major brand names. I don't think that I can carry those labels well and I prefer those which will suit me better =)

1. Gift sets from body shop
I like the Japanese Cherry Blossom, Dreams Unlimited, Moringa scents.

2. Fragrance
Either from Body Shop (those listed scents above) or Van Cleef & Arpels' Faerie or Versace's Bright Crystal or any scent which is of similar notes to Faerie or Bright Crystal. Not too floral like Gucci's Envy Me. I've got one of it and I don't really use it so I started spraying it on my shoes =x

3. Earrings
Cos necklaces and bracelets aren't too practical for me. I've got a few necklaces but I only wear that particular one with the blue heart-shaped charm and I most probably will continue wearing it for some time. I've also have a few bracelets but I usually wear a watch so it's not too practical either. As for earrings, I'ld prefer silver, platinum or white gold type. Preferably a simple design, nothing huge or heavy. I'm fine with studs or dangling ones though studs will be more practical =)

It's the thought that counts
- Things I'ld still graciously thank you for:

1. Watches
They're kinda expensive especially if there's just a few people sharing it and it's not very practical for me. I've got one already and I hope it'll last me for a few more years before I think about getting another one.

2. Clothes
Unless you're positively confident about my style, it may not be the best choice of gift. I'm not into current trends and I prefer to wear nature colors like cream, brown, olive.

3. Handbags
I guess I won't mind but I've already got a few. I've got the Agnes B tote bag and this polka dotted one for school and at least my CR and Guess bags for weekends. I've still have an Adidas gym bag of other little bags and totes which I rarely use. So I might not use it very often even if you get me LV or something =/

I guess that should suffice since there shouldn't be too many people cos I foresee my relatives giving me ang pows instead =p Which means, more money into the bank for my future investments (i.e. housing loans, maybe car loans, education, marriage, children's education & bringing and such).

From another perspective

2011-12-20T08:56:00.000+08:00

In the recent spate of the breakdowns of trains causing frustration, anger and inconvenience to those affected directly or indirectly, many have responded by voicing out their dissent that the trains should be non-faulty at all times. However, it occured to me yesterday when I was chatting with my junior about the incident that it was truly a blessing for us to have the train system. My junior told me about her friend who had to leave home in the east at 5 on Sunday to take buses to her workplace in the central as the train services were disrupted to conduct a thorough check. Her friend spent a few hours on the buses. I'm certain that most people have yet to see from this perspective, that the train system has made our commute more convenient with each passing day. However, I've yet to see newspaper headlines about such matters. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I've not seen anything along the lines of "Commuters appreciates Land Transport Authority for train services". All I've seen these days are "Trains breakdown again" and "Outrage at train breakdown".

It's quite saddening to know that outrage, dissent and anger has clouded people's perspective of the world. Perhaps, if I'm affected, I too might feel angry and not see from this perspective at all. I think that this could be the result of not being contented. In this fast-paced and high-tech society, there seems to be no room for errors. A slight mistake could lead to a whole facebook page dedicated to one or yet another posting on stomp or a video uploaded on youtube. Where has tolerance gone to? Why use harsh and crude words to express one's emotions instead of a more refined and neutral tone? These are some things I don't understand about society these days. Is it the upbringing? A flaw in family upbringing? A flaw in the education system? Or a flaw encoded in one's DNA and passed down to other generations? Or perhaps the advancement in technology which has led to all these?

Would we have more if we had less?

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To benefit those who didn't understand the last sentence, "would we have more if we had less" subtly (now it's explicit) implies would we have more joy if we had less superficial articles.

A little views on dating

2011-12-09T22:13:00.000+08:00

This post is a little tricky to type in japanese especially since I have limited vocabulary and grammar knowledge. Hence, I'll do so in english.

My cousin, Jocelyn, has come to Singapore for a holiday. Brought her around to shop and such for the past week and picked up her parents from the airport today, whilst sending my bro off to Taiwan.

Anw, my mom was trying to tell us that she thinks my bro has a gf and she wants me to find out from him but I felt that he'll tell us if he has one when he feels it's the right time. Moreover, my mom also said to bring home our close friends of the opposite gender =.=

I feel otherwise. I always wanted to only bring home a male friend if I think he's a potential son-in-law. Wells, I'm pretty grateful that the first guy friend that I brought home along with his gf was Ron, to practise for then Ms Ng's wedding. Cos it didn't give my mom any idea that I could be attached or what.

My mom argues that parents would love to see the friends especially those of opposite genders and we should bring them home but I feel more pressurized to do so. All my ex have brought me to their place to meet their parents but I only brought one to meet my parents which I felt that I shouldn't cos I didn't think he'll be the right one. Perhaps I could be more firm in my values and beliefs.

I don't want to be pressured into bringing my friends home just cos they brought me to their place or just cos my mom wants to meet them. Yea, if you're female, there's no issue at all and I'll gladly bring you home for a meal or baking session or manicure session. However, if you're male then, sorry, I'm not gonna do it anymore.

Sometimes, I just hope to get to know guys better and then figure out if I really like them instead of rushing into things. I don't want to close any doors for guys but yea, I already did for some and I don't think I'll open them or what. For example, Ron's just gonna be my good fren and nothing more. It's also heartening to know that he won't fall for me. He's almost like a gay best friend, except that he isn't gay and neither is he my best friend.

I do hope that the next time I fall in love, I really do. Not like some girl who needs affection from the other gender during her weak moments. (Guys, don't you dare take advantage of me when I'm weak. I'll be strong so it won't be the case) It may be a warped definition of love, but I believe I'll know it when I experience it again.

So for now...

I'm just gonna keep wearing that necklace regularly as a symbol to remind me to think carefully before accepting. I've never been good at rejecting and sometimes I don't know if it's to protect my image or what by not rejecting.

And..

Dear girlfriends,
Please remind me to take a look at all those letters before deciding on a guy if you see me "helplessly in love" with some guy. I tend to have goldfish memory but I do hope that history won't repeat itself. I'll just want to find the right person before I bring him home or decide to spend eternity with him.

Last but not lease, no mommy, I'm not dating anyone now and I don't have any intention at least till my 21st birthday. I don't want some random guy to ruin it cos it'll be one of the best birthdays of my life, after my 17th birthday. And mommy, I won't be bringing home any guy/s until I'm serious. It's not for you to decide if you think he's suitable or not. I don't want to date someone I don't think is suitable but you think otherwise.

And a P.S.

To my aunts and everyone else who sees me on the street/malls/somewhere with a guy:
I'm not dating the guy. We're friends and that's it. I do go out with guy friends alone and we're not dating!

And a final P.P.S

To those people working at bridal exhibits:
Please don't stop me and any random guy I'm seen with cos I'm seriously not attached and their gf probably is someone else =.= (Thankfully one smart guy almost wanted to stop Daelus and I a few months ago but he didn't when he realised we parted ways shortly after. Else it'll be a pretty hilarious scene) I'm still young and I don't intend to get married until I find the right guy which probably hasn't appeared in my life yet or we might need to cross paths again. Grrr...

Woohoo! Exams are over~

2011-12-01T15:11:00.000+08:00

I don't think I'll do well for my exams, but I'm glad it's over~ I'm quite bored these days so I've made some christmas presents for my nieces.

この学期の試験はあまりよくないと思う。けど、終わったから、よかった。此の間、私はしょざいないから、姪のクリスマスプレゼントをつくった。

cute litte bags

小さくて可愛いかばん

Went out with Kia for movies ytd. Watched Puss in boots. It's really cute and interesting.

昨日キャーと映画を見に行く。『プースインブーツ』を見った。可愛くて、面白いと思う。

Had dinner at soup spoon~

スープスプーンで晩ご飯を食べた。

Bought sentimental circus file and some stickers.

センチメンタルサーカスのファイルとステッカーを買った。

My new nails~ Sentimental Circus =)

2011-11-26T22:53:00.000+08:00

I love my new nails~ Just painted them in a Sentimental Circus inspired color and character =)

Wells, it's exam period.. What I should be doing now is studying but instead I've painted my nails and my edited my blogskin such that it's Sentimental Circus inspired =p

Anw, here's where I got my Sentimental Circus stuff. Wallpaper here. I've heard about it when I was reading one of my daily reads - here~

Probably I might want Sentimental Circus items for christmas =)

Tata everyone~ All the best for your exams =)

------
ote: After my exams, I'll be writing my blog in English and Japanese. In that way, I can practise my Japanese。Seeya~
試験ガだったら、英語と日本語でこんのブローグを書く。すれば日本語を練習することができる。じゃ、またね～

Back in those days~~

2011-11-25T00:18:00.000+08:00

Recently, my lovely juniors have graduated and attended their prom. Seeing them all happy reminds me of those days, 2 years ago, when I had my convocation and prom night.

If I could reverse time, there's a few things I'll like to change for prom.

1. I'll like to change my dress. I had a white Daniel Yam cocktail tube dress with velvet designs and a ribbon in the front. It's a pretty dress but I guess it wasn't too flattering for me. I would like to change it to a white, japanese-inspired baby doll dress. Maybe a little touch of lolita?

2. I'll like to change my hairstyle. I had some supposedly princessy hair with curls but I guess I would like to have slight waves in my hair, which I'll like to dye brown. With a small flower headband on my head.

3. I'll like to change my makeup. I didn't have much make up knowledge then (not that I'm some make-up guru now). I went to prom with navy and silver eyeshadow. I guess I'll have put on the proper concealer and do a natural make up for myself, complete with mascara =)

4. I'll like to change how I planned prom. I always thought it would be good if we get pairs to go for prom. But since that day, I realised, I could have just gotten people to sign up as a table which will make my job easier, avoid any awkward moments of guy-guy or girl-girl pairs.

There's all these things I want to change but wells, it already happened. I guess I've most probably spent that year, not doing much productive stuff. Always worrying about stuff and all.

Things I could have done when I was 18
1. Complete "Kiss of a Vampire". If I were that hardworking to transcribe my work and to write nice lyrics to it, it might be used for the Twilight movies these days =p Unfortunately, I'm still procrastinating..
2. Sew a dress. If I started early, I might have picked up something about sewing and probably I can sew my ideal prom dress =p
3. I could have tried to exercise more and slim down a bit more so I would have the confidence to go for shoots with Chua =p She's getting established now =p But I'm not for that world, I guess =)
4. I could have taken up Salsa courses earlier. Then I'll probably meet my lovely Salsa friends earlier too =)
5. I could have finish up the rest of my songs and launch a personal album =p Hehe~ *still hoping it'll be possible someday*

But now, I'm just 3 months shy of being 21 =/ I still haven't accomplish any of these =p Especially my song-writing. I hope that I'll be able to write beautiful songs with meaningful lyrics. Maybe that might be my present to myself.

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Anw, it's exam period. Graph theory, Jap 2 and Cognitive Psychology's down! =) Hurray~ Left with Linear 2 and Math Analysis 2 next week. Afterwhich, it's shopping for me. Time to get things done =)

2011-11-16T23:57:00.000+08:00

Found this cute pic online, somewhere on facebook. I think it's really cute and meaningful =) Plus, the graphic's good.

It's reading week, once again. However, I've been studying and going out at the same time.

Went for lunch and movies with Ryan ytd. We watched three musketeers. The movie's pretty good for an action-romance sort of film with some wit and humor. I think Milady's really scheming but it's amazing how she manages to keep a guy wrapped around her finger. Walked around Ion and I walked ard H&M too. But I didn't manage to find much clothes which I wanted. Probably I'll wait till Joce comes over in 2 weeks and we'll head out to shop =)

Went for the orchid exhibit with my parents today. There's lovely pictures of orchids and I like those little pink ones which dangled off the for the lack of better word, exhibit. Went to the garden at bay too =) Really pretty~ I guess all girls like flowers, just depends on which type and color.

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If this rings a bell,

Drats! It's thursday once again.
Boring lessons, there goes my brain.
Grilled, boiled, simmered and deep-fried.
Cooked till nothing's left inside.
Sighs, but hope this will make you smile instead.

=) seems like my episodic memory's still working fine~

頑張ってねえ～

2011-11-07T20:45:00.000+08:00

わあ～数学がとても難しいけど、泣かないでください。頑張りましょう。いくらたくさん読んでも、ぜんぜん解らない。たぶん、私は頭があまりよくない。解らない。ぜんぜん解らない。気持ちはちょっと悪い。

みんな～頑張ってください

I love MATLAB!

2011-10-31T00:05:00.000+08:00

I really love Matlab! This weekend's been really great for me.

Yesterday was a slack day for me cos I wasn't too motivated to do much but composing. After 2 years of procrastinating, I'm proud to present "Kiss of a Vampire". At least the instrumental's ready and I'm just gonna edit the lyrics a little bit and find some free time to do a recording. While I await it's approval for the uploading, you may listen to one my my previous compositions: Dry away those tears. I've had comments that it sounded a little like some late singer's song but I really plagarised her work as I was unaware of it. I just had similar inspiration to use similar melody. I still have quite a few more songs to transcribe and such and to do up my Ariasviel blog. Yes, I'm doing a new blog for my songs and such so hopefully it'll be up by the end of the year. Kinda long but hopefully it's worth the wait.

Thus, I had to do the rest of my homework today. I had my last WCS class today. It's so fun and we've learnt lots of stuff =) I know you won't read this but Kai Fong, rmb to organise the K-session ^-^ It's so fun chatting with Ying Jie and Ramya too (these 3 aren't from p-team). Had the weekly dessert with them too. They're so nice. We went to the same dessert stall which Ying Jie recommended last week. I had the same dessert, Matcha Snow Ice. Ok, I finally know what it's called cos when we were heading there, I was telling Cherie that I had Taiwanese Ice Kachang last week.

My Matcha Snow Ice from last week. Ordered this today too.

Kai Fong's Durian Snow Ice which he ordered last week and which Ying Jie ordered today. Kai Fong ordered Mango today while Ying Jie ordered Mocha last week.

Got home and attempted to do my LA2 hw9 with great difficulty cos I didn't know how to do the gram-schmidt thingy for complex vectors. Hence, I wrote a Matlab code to do all of it and even find the fourier coefficients ^-^ I'm pretty glad that technology's better than my brains.

MY GRAM-SCHMIDT CODE

Feel free to use it. I've only coded it for 3 vectors but you can use manually input it to calculate more which I'll figure out how to code it to calculate more than 3 vectors another time by looping =p

function gram = my_gramschmidt(a,b,c,F)

% my_gramschmidt(a,b,c) calculates the gram-schimidt orthogonal
% and non-orthogonal vectors for 3 vectors.
% for real vectors, just type a/b/c=[1,2,..] where 1,2 are
% coefficients of the vector.
% for complex vectors, type it in the same way just that for each entry,
% type complex(a,b) where a is the real part and b is the complex part
% read off gram in rows for each vectors.
% F is the vector used to find the fourier coefficients of. Read across the
% rows for respective vectors

X=a;
A=a.*conj(a);
mod_X=sum(A);
Y=b-((dot(b,X))/(mod_X)).*X;
B=Y.*conj(Y);
mod_Y=sum(B);
Z=c-((dot(c,X))/(mod_X)).*X-((dot(c,Y))/(mod_Y)).*Y;
%gram=[X;Y;Z]; %this is for the non-orthogonal one
%this is for the orthogonal one
C=Z.*conj(Z);
mod_Z=sum(C);
gram=[X/sqrt(mod_X);Y/sqrt(mod_Y);Z/sqrt(mod_Z)];
fourier=[dot(F,(X/sqrt(mod_X)));dot(F,(Y/sqrt(mod_Y)));dot(F,(Z/sqrt(mod_Z)))]

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So hurray! I am now able to check my hw and I'm pretty sure it's the right ans, unless I've coded it wrongly.

Feeling bored, I also created the code version of my graph theory tut10 qn 2.

Buzz me for the code cos I can't type it in blogger.. It changes all my comparison signs..

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Thus, Gel is a pleased girl today =)

Visibly upset

2011-10-17T16:04:00.000+08:00

I was rather upset just now though my test scores were decent. I waited for at least 90 mins before I collected my scripts cos I wanted to ask some questions as well. Unfortunately, a coursemate was in prof's room disussjng some question so I didn't want to disrupt them. Yet I was upst that lots of students randomly eter to collect their papers and ask questions. It' s so hard to live by my set of cultural and social norms as I difervastly from the people around. 。・゜・(ノД`)・゜・。

Send my love to heaven

2011-10-15T23:43:00.000+08:00

For my 777th post, here's a love story I came across online. I thought it was meaningful to share regardless if it was real or fictitious.

***********

What can I say about a girl I loved since I was ten... that I love the way she laughs at me when I commit mistakes, the way she fusses over silly things and even the way she cries over some sad silly late night show...
She was my best friend and I have known her since we were small. She knew all my secrets, which reveals my feelings for her, that I love her not only because she's pretty and smart but also the way she laughs at everything and the way she sees life and love. I could still remember the first time we met; I was five years old then. It was one windy afternoon having no one to play with except for my best friend, Troy. He and his family just moved out to a neighboring state at transfer because his father got promoted. And so I climbed up our tree house, I saw a moving truck coming down the street. I watched it approaching and noticed a family station wagon following it. It stopped in front of the house and out came a family. I was about to glance away when came out the loveliest girl I've ever seen.

She was four years old that time but then even at an early age she was a beauty. She had long curly hair, which reached almost to her waist. She had fair complexion and eyes which could make a man lose his heart into them. I continued to watch her when suddenly she looked up and saw me watching them in the tree house window. I was about to duck when she smiled and waved her hand. I waved back and then watched in amazement as I saw her running towards the tree house. So I went to the edge of the ladder and said, "Would you like to come up?" she answered, "May I?" So I help her climb up and when she reached the top she then turned to me and said, "By the way, my name's Sam, what's yours?" I answered, "My name is Christopher but then you can call me Chris." She smiled and said, "Well I like your name. Hey your tree house's neat!" then I replied, "Thanks! Troy and I made this. This used to be our hide out. We used to goof around, play ball and go biking together. He was my best friend and I kind of miss him you know." She smiled and said "I'm here now, we could do things you do with Troy and I could be your new best friend too. I never had a boy for a friend before so it could be exciting to have one. I could learn how to play ball and I have my bicycle so we could go biking together. Now how does that sound to you?" I smiled and said, "Well that sounds good enough." Then she held her hand and said, "It's a deal then!"

So that's how it started. So we became best friends and it was kind of strange at first for she was a girl and there are things which I was little bit hesitant to indulge her like catching frogs, swimming in the lake and climbing trees, but then she tried and did everything just to please me. There was even a time when she fell off the bike trying to catch up with me in a race we had and I was the one who bandaged her scraped knee. I could still remember the time when she hit the window of our neighbor when we were playing baseball and it was I who talked to Mr. Chambers and promised to pay for the damage, which meant having to loose a week's allowance. I remembered the time when I fell off the tree when I tried to rescue a little kitten because Sam was near to tears when she saw the helpless kitten trapped in a branch. I even fought with the tough guy when they teased Sam and made her cry and I ended up having a black eye and a bruised cheek. I remember Sam crying as she placed an ice bag over the damaged eye and later gave it a get-well kiss. I did everything to please her and gave everything her little heart desires.

The lake was our favorite hang out. We had our Saturday swim routine. We would pack food and later eat them under the big oak tree. There was a special branch in which the two of us could sit together and tell each others dreams. She dreams of being a Ballerina and she knows my dream of becoming a doctor. She never laughs at my dreams and pursuits even if they were quite impossible. It made me like her even more.
As years went by, I noticed that my feelings towards her were slowly changing. Somehow, I thought it was just a simple crush case. But when I started thinking about her at night, dreaming of her and having the feeling of wanting to be with her all the time, I thought it was something different, something that made me feel strange, but then it was exhilarating feeling. It made me feel so alive. Whenever our hands touch, I could feel the tingling sensation in my spine. Once when we were at the lake having our Saturday swim routine and as I carried her towards the water edge, I had the feeling of not wanting to let go. I just wanted that moment to continue hoping it would never end. I then realized I was slowly falling in love with my best friend.
Many times I tried to deny the feeling for I was scared to imagine what would happen if ever I'd try to tell her how I feel about her. I was scared because she might think that I'm taking advantage of her and our friendship. I was afraid of losing her so I just kept my feeling hidden.

We reached the age of fifteen and I noticed that Sam grew lovelier each day. How my heart aches wherever I see boys glance her way. I want to punch their noses as I watch them talking to her giving compliments, flowers and chocolates. There were times when I watch her at a distance with mixed feelings of anger and hurt! Because it hurts so much to know that there were so many things I wanted to tell her but then I could not do so. There were so many presents which I long to give her but then I could not for she might see me only as a friend. I was also scared of letting her know how I feel about her as much as losing her.

Then one day, I just learned from a friend that she already had a boyfriend. At first, I tried to convince myself that it was just a rumor. Her boyfriend was Mark, a popular senior, who was the heartthrob of the campus. She, being the cheerleader was close to the basketball team to which Mark was the captain. When I saw them walking together at the parking lot that afternoon, I watched her with my heart slowly breaking into pieces. I saw her wave at me but I just pretended not to see her for I was scared that she might see in my eyes the pain I'm feeling inside because of seeing her with another guy. Those days that followed where the saddest days of my life. How my heart aches when I see her walk by me with him at her side. Every time we meet in hallways and I see him around her, there's a feeling inside me that makes me want to grab her away from him. How it hurts to see the girl I long possess was now owned by somebody else. That special smile I long for her to cast on me was now casted on him. As she passes by me she doesn't know that I whisper the words "God how I love you."

Then one faithful day they broke up. She came too me that evening crying on my shoulder. They had a big fight and it ended up with their break up. Mixed feelings were scaring me inside. I was happy because she was free and maybe I would have the chance of telling her my true feelings for her but then I was feeling so bad because she is crying her heart out just for him. At that time, I was not quite sure of what I wanted to do.

So we found ourselves doing what we did in old days with our Saturday swim routine, spending time in our tree house. We still enjoyed doing childish pranks for we still are both young at heart. So many chances I had for me to confess my feelings for her but still I couldn't bring myself to her for I was scared of losing her once more. I once lost her, now I could not bear of losing her again by telling her, "I love her". So I just kept my feelings even if it was bursting to be expressed from my aching heart.

It was a week from our JS Prom, we were seated at the branch of an oak tree drying ourselves after our afternoon swim when she said, "I was wondering Chris if you would like to be my partner?" It just got out of my wits for it was like a dream I never thought would happen. It took me awhile to answer her, "I thought there are so many boys who would die for you to be their partner?" So she turned away and quietly said, "Well I just thought I would like to spend that night with my best friend." Then she continued in a whisper I could barely hear, "Don't you want to die just like them to be my partner Chris?" I was too stunned to speak for it came close for me to blurt my feelings for her. We… we're silent for a while until I finally whispered, "I would be happy to be your partner Sam. "The she smiled and suddenly kissed my cheek. I could hardly contain the joy I felt that time. I saw her turned red and bowed her head. Suddenly she stood up and run towards the water saying, "Last one to reach the water treats to sundae fudge!”I ran slowed up so that I would lose which meant having to have her with me for another three hours or more.

Our Prom night came. I bought a new tuxedo and poured almost the entire bottle of perfume. I went to fetch Sam. Sam's mother greeted me and I went to sit in the living room waiting for her to come down. I was talking to her father when I heard her say, "How do I look?" I look up and saw her lovelier than ever in a strapless white dress with her hair flowing around her face. I stood up and opened my mouth but found out I could not find my voice. Then I got her hand shakily fastened the corsage around her wrist and whispered, "To the loveliest girl in the whole world." She then asked, "Is that true?" I nodded and she smiled and I smiled back then I turned to open the door for her. When we arrived at the gymnasium we hardly recognized our classmates. Gone were the jeans and T-shirts. They were replaced with tuxedos and gowns. Then I held out her hand bowed and said, "Would you give me the honor of your first dance?" She laughed and curtseyed. Then I led her to the dance floor. It was like a dream coming true, a moment of enchantment. I was there dancing with the only girl I ever loved. She was smiling up to me, as we were slowly moving in a smooth gliding motion. I found myself lost as I stared down to her sparkling eyes. The curls of her long hair were like waves enhancing her beautiful face. There were so many things I wanted to tell her that moment. I wanted to tell that she was the most beautiful girl that night. I wanted to tell her that she would always be the beacon of light in my darkness, but what I wanted to tell her the most was that I love her. I drew up all my courage and bent to whisper it in her ear but suddenly the music stopped and the magic was gone. I came close to telling her, but still haven't done it.

We walked towards the table and found ourselves surrounded by friends. I asked her if she wanted a drink, she nodded and so I went to get one. It took me a long time to get one and when I returned to our table, she was gone. I asked her friend, Katie, where she was but she told me that she doesn't know. So I went to search for her. As I was searching for her, I reached the garden. There I saw two silhouette figures outlined by the moon's silvery light. They were so close to each other that I could never describe the feeling I had when I recognized the white dress that Sam was wearing that night. I just turned and left the gymnasium.

Since that night, I avoided her. Many times she tried talking to me but I never gave her the chance to do so. I was afraid to hear her say that she loves Mark and not me. I would rather have left in ignorance of her true feelings for me than to hear from those dreaded words and feel my hope crush and my heart break. I didn't return her calls. I would not see her if she comes into our house. In the hallways, as she approaches I would go to another direction. It also hurts to do those things but then I thought that was the best way to forget her. Those months were tormenting but still I kept my pride.

The day of our graduation came. I was planning to take up medicine at a neighboring state and was to move out the next day. As the program ended, she approached me and handed me a rose. As she stared at me, there was something in her eyes I couldn't describe. There was sadness in them and when she smiled it wasn't the same smile she had. I wanted to hug her at that moment, tell her that I love her but then she turned and walked away from me.

So I moved out the next day as I planned. Luckily, I was accepted at the university. I concentrated with my studies but still I think of her at night. I was always wondering if she thinks of me too. I tried hard not to think of her but still I could not stop myself from loving her. Each achievement I have was done for her. I thought that if I will be successful one day, I would be able to tell her that I love her and by that time, I'm worthy of having her.

It was a year after our graduation when I decided to return home and see her again. I thought a year is too much for me not to see her and during the past year I felt like a person lost in the desert and only the sight of her could quench the thirst I have inside. As I got off the plane, I went home directly, desperate to get to her house desperate to see her, to hug her. Then I would tell her that I missed her and that I have loved her for a long time. This time I am determined to let her know my true feelings for her and I could not contain anymore the love I have for her. I reached their house; I saw her elder sister and I approached her. I smiled at her but I noticed she didn't smile back. I was confused for she used to be a cheerful lady just like my dear Sam. I then asked, "Hi Jen! I guess you're surprised why I'm here. Well I just want to visit you and I was also hoping to see Sam. I kind of miss her you know. Mmm… by the way have you seen her?" All I saw was sadness in her eyes as she replied quietly "Come follow me."

I was confused with the way she's acting but still I followed her. As we were walking, I was trying to indulge her in a conversation but she just answered my question briefly. Then I realized that she was leading me to the direction of the lake. It was still the same as I left it, with the same oak tree, Sam and I used to climb up. I smiled upon remembering the kiss Sam gave me when I agreed to be her partner. It's been one of the happiest days in my life and I realized that I missed Sam more than I thought. Then Jen stopped walking and pointed to the tree. She then whispered, "There's Sam."

I looked at where she was pointing and saw a newly dug tomb with the name of the girl I ever loved. I could not believe at what I saw and desperately tried convincing myself that this is all just a nightmare and I would soon wake up. I stared at Jenny in disbelief with her eyes searching for explanations and she slowly started saying, "It has been a week since she died. She died of Leukemia, but even though she was sick, she never stopped thinking about you. It was even your name she uttered before she died. She asked us to bury her here for she always regards this place as a place of LOVE. She said that this is where she had spent the happiest days and that was when she was with you. By the way, she also asked me to give you this." She handed me a parcel and with that she left.

I slowly opened the parcel and saw that it contained the dried orchid from the corsage I gave her for our prom. Then at the bottom I saw a letter. It was dated last month. I opened it with shaking hands and started reading........

******************************

I know… by this time you read this letter I'm gone. I just want to tell you that I feel very lucky and thankful to God that I had a friend like you. I would also like you to know that I had left something inside, something I kept from you all these years. I love you Chris, not in a friendly way but as one who would feel like spending the rest of my life with. I have always loved you even from the start. I guess it just bloomed each day that's why the happiest days of my life was… when you were by my side. You just don't know how I dreamed of you at night and wake up in the morning and dream no more for you were with me. When you were away, I can't stop crying because I was afraid to think that you are with another girl. I just can't bear to see you with another girl. I just want you all to myself. I may sound selfish but that's how I feel.

Each time, you held me close to you, was like a dream coming true, for to be close to you and feel your heart beating next to mine was like heaven. So many things I did so that you will learn to love me but I NEVER saw a hint. I did everything to please you because I love you so much that I even tried to fool myself that you're in love with me too. So many nights I've cried when I think of myself unloved by you. Well you might think that what I'm saying are lies but, I tell you, my heart speaks the truth for I cannot bear telling a lie to the one I love. I know you might be thinking of Mark; but I just did that to make you jealous, to make you see me as a young woman, capable of loving and not as the little girl you used to play with. Sometimes I imagined that you were jealous and fooled myself that it was a sign that you feel something for me too. When Mark and I broke up and I came crying, I just did that to know… how you would react and with that I'll know that you love me too. But I failed for you didn't give me any clue. When our prom night came, you just don't know how happy I was when you handed me the corsage and saying that I was the loveliest girl in the whole world. While we were dancing, I wanted so desperately to hear you say that you love me too but you NEVER did. When Mark came and pleaded me to give him a second chance, I was scared that you might see us talking. I didn't want you to get the wrong impression so I told him we would talk in the garden. There I explained to him that it's you whom I really love.

What happened next was that I found you missing and later learned that you were searching for me, I just concluded that you saw us together. The next day, I tried to explain but then you never gave me a chance to do so. You continuously avoided me and never knew how much pain I've experienced that time. I felt the world crushing on me. In our Graduation day, when I approached you, I wanted to tell you… how much I loved you but I decided that I just couldn't do it. I could not bear to hear that all you feel for me is just brotherly hand of love. For I want you to love me as a woman and not as a girl or playmate. So I just turned away and left.

Now that saying I LOVE YOU might be too late, but still I want you to know that I will always love you and my heart has always been and will be yours alone.

P.S.: Think of me sometimes... and always remember that loving you was the best thing that ever happened in my life.

************************************

I felt my tears falling as I folded the letter. I wanted to shout out to let her know that I love her, if not as much, but more than she did for me. I love her more than anything in this world. I knelt touching the soil of her grave and rain started to fall. I continued crying softly and whispered, "Oh God, send my love to heaven."

*********

I've just teared. It's so sad right? Somehow I feel that I can relate to these stories, probably cos I've experienced it first-hand.

nail art

2011-10-10T00:14:00.000+08:00

Gonna blog for a short while while I wait for my nails to dry. Just spent abt an hour doing my nails cos I kept redoing it but I love my left thumb, left index and middle fingers =) The design's really really pretty, especially the thumb. I kinda didn't do the ring finger and the pinkie properly so it looks a bit odd but still, it's the first time I'm trying this design =)

Shakugan no shana inspired nail art =) I love the way I did Shana~ So chibi and cute ^-^ Wilhemina looks odd though.. and so does Yuji =/

E-learning

2011-10-09T00:58:00.000+08:00

E-learning week was rather slack =) Totally didn't do much work besides study a bit for Jap and SoM tests. SoM test was full of careless mistakes. Grr.. Oh wells, that just means that I need an A for my music project and essay. I wonder if my music project will score well or not. Perhaps I'll just survey a few frens first. My bro says that my composition resembles some rap tune he heard =.= Shane and Farah said it had not much resemblance. But my composition was inspired during one of my walk home in the light drizzle. I tend to sing to myself when I walk alone, especially at night. Keeps me brave and alert of strangers.

One of my tutee had her PSLE so I don't have to give tuition so often now. Just once a week instead of twice => I can study on Tuesday too~ Provided that I actually study. Need to study at least 3 chapters of psy before my test in two week's time.

Went to watch Vienna Boys Choir with Shane and Farah today for our music essay. It was really really angelic and beautiful =) I love it when they sing and I even teared in their first song cos it was just to melodious and angelic =) Got their autograph at the end of the performance =) So fortunate and it's my first time getting an autograph. Getting frens to sign isn't really getting an autograph, hehe =p

After which, I met up with Rad for coffee at Starbucks =) It's a nice meet up, haven't seen him since last year. Had green tea cream so I can't really sleep now, but oh wells. Offered some to Rad but he said that I did it the last time and he didn't like the taste. Did I? Oh wells, can't rmb but I hope it's not misinformation =)

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On another note, I'm really grateful that Ron is attached and not interested in me. It's almost as good as having a gay best friend (not saying that you're gay, Ron) but it's just good =) Sometimes, I'm not sure if I'm attracting the wrong kind of guys or what... But I guess I'll like to remain single for a while until I decide what else to do which is why I've decided to keep the necklace on tonight.

The past few days in a glance

2011-10-04T22:34:00.000+08:00

Friday:
Math test was rather tough. Couldn't do some of the proving questions. I hope I can still pass the paper and score a decent grade enough for me to attain b+ or a- =/

Watched Johnny English with Ron in the evening. It was so hilarious! I couldn't stop laughing at all those funny moments like when Johnny played with the swivel chair and the times he mistook another old lady for the creepy old lady. It's really hilarious and if anyone has time to spare and would like a good laugh, I'll definitely recommend that you watch that =) After which, Ron and I had some pizzas for dinner at the Cathay. Talked abt the guys in NS. Seems like most of them are doing well there. Hang in there, guys. Just 2 more months for most of you =) After dinner, we headed to jitterbugs for a short while so I could say 'hi' to my salsa frens and he could say 'hi' to Elliot. And silly Daelus.. Ron's just a fren. A good fren and there's the line. Ok, my bio buddy too but nothing more. He's got a great girl already and I believe he's the faithful, loyal type =) After a short tour of jitterbugs, we headed for some frozen yoghurt before heading home. Felt like a great day =)

Sat: Gave tuition and then slacked... Hahaha~ Not in the mood to study

Sun: There's dance and then we had MOS burger after WCS =)

Mon: Another slacking day after tuition cos it's E-LEARNING week~ Muahaha~ I love this week cos it's more slack and I don't have to go to school at unearthly timing for my science lectures =) implies more sleep-in time =)

Tues: Had SoM test today. Gahs!!! I've made 3 careless mistakes today. Byebye A+, byebye A, byebye A-.. Hopefully I can still get a B+ =/ Went out for lunch with Kia and we shopped around Daiso =) Hehe.. We used to go grocery shopping and shopped a lot at Daiso back in our hostel days. We'll stock up on ham, edamame peas, instant noodles (koka for me and korean noodles for kia) and drinks in hostel =) Those were the days..

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Another one of my "little" worries

Sighs, on another note. I don't know if I should mention this but does anyone have an experience in financial stuff? Like sometimes if friends borrow a minimal amount (less than $10) in their entire life, I wouldn't normally close one eye if they do not remember to return in. Yes, I still remember who has yet to pay me for what and roughly when but I'll just let it slip (should total to at least $30?). However, if it is a larger sum, especially if accumulated, sometimes I really don't know how to tell them. So sometimes I'll say "I can't remember if you've returned the money/paid me for xxx" instead of "Have you returned me/paid me for xxx" even if I know they haven't. Just wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt and so they won't look so bad. I know some of my friends are rather particular about money and they will remember and be the first few to return/pay me back but for others, I'm not so sure and I always have this issue. Back in Year 3, I offered to pay for a chalet first and then I faced some issues when people were unable to pay me back. Is this something everyone experience frequently? Cos I'm wondering if I should limit the circle of people I allow this to happen, especially those I know will pay me. I don't mind if others pay for something first and then they just need to say "Hey, I've bought this already and its $$$" and then I'll be automatically cued to know that it is a cue to pay the person the correct amount. Yet I think such "cueing" does not really work in local context. With the current amount which people have yet to return me, I think I should be able to get a pair of Aldos or a Guess bag (not that I'm going to splurge the money on such stuff. I'ld rather save it for my overseas trip). I'm pretty certain that a few of them will remember to return the money but I hope the rest will do so too =/ I don't want to end up paying more than the rest and inevitably souring relationships. I can't treat it as some donation to some charitable organization as I do with all the rest who were unable to remember that they have yet to pay me. Gahs.. What should I do? =/

I think I'll take a safer approach now. Share something only with a group of 5 or less friends unless you know them really well that they'll remember to pay you back. Gahs, but I still think that if we had gotten something 1/4 of that price, I would most likely close both eyes.. But this is another issue.. Even if I'm not financially unstable =x It's about trust and such. Wells, I can overlook one less F21 top but I can't seem to overlook a Guess bag (or maybe I can get 2 of those Coach wrislets ^-^ I thought they were really pretty but it's getting common..).

Help?

Two tests down~

2011-09-29T21:44:00.000+08:00

Phew.. Had graph theory and linear tests today. Graph theory was easy but I'm not getting full marks. Kinda worried cos it's so easy and yet I'm not careful enough. I'll be glad to have 90% or rather 27 marks so that I don't have to "catch up" so much to achieve an A- =x However, it was so hilarious before the test. Most people were early today, arriving at lt32 before 8 or slightly after 8. The test was to start at 830 and the lecturer walked in about 815, sat at the stage, opened a newspaper and started reading. I was looking at Theodore and Cindy wondering what to do for our test as the prof seemed so relaxed. Then around 829, he walked to the projector and wrote somethings which was flashed on the screen. We were seated randomly and still had no test paper before us. 830. He distributed the paper. It was one piece of paper and I thought we might need extra paper for working and proving questions until I saw the paper. Qn 1 (20m) - all fill in the blanks o.O Qn 2 (5m) - short working. Qn 3 (5m) - another short ans (but I was careless for this. Gahs~ And I thought my method was fool-proof. Apparently not.)

Went for Jap lecture. Kangrui and I were so lucky that we ended lecture before the mic got to us. It was like a few seats from my left o.O After which, we headed back to science for lunch and some studying before my math tut.

Sat beside Cindy and Wutian for my math tut. Upon seeing Wutian studying for linear algebra, I offered him the mid term paper from 2009 which Shane sent to us for reference. I'm so glad he studied it hard and I have to thank Shane for sending the paper to me, cos one of the question came out for the 5 for 20m question. Qn 2e in fact =) So glad that I knew how to do and the method for converting bases is useful for Qn3 (20m) =) so essentially, if I hadn't look at that I might not have scored this 24m =) Thanks Shane! =)

Linear paper was relatively manageable. Was so worried that I couldn't prove but I managed to finish in 30 mins =) Checked my ans, spotted one careless mistake. Changed it. Didn't see another careless mistake. I'm gonna lose 4 marks for that. Otherwise, I'm pretty glad it's alright. Hopefully I can score 90% =) I'm apsiring to get an average of A- this sem. Hope I'll be able to do it. Not very confident of psy and jap too =/ Please let me get a few As and A- this sem to negate my horrible C for chem which I can't SU =/

I'm gonna study hard for math now. I've got another test tmr but I foresee that it'll be tough with lots of proofs =x I wish "common sense says so" is an answer but unfortunately, that's no the case if I want full credit. Need to learn how to prove limits...

If I could go for prom again

2011-09-26T23:06:00.000+08:00

Saw these cute dresses when I was shopping with Mel at Bugis street two weekends ago. They're so pretty. If I could go for prom again, I'll most probably wear one of these dresses. I like the black on with grey and white hues and black embellishments. It's really cool and if I wore this to prom 2 years ago, I would have matched the walls of Meritus Mandarin. They have white walls and black swirly embellishments. It was this room that caught the eye of Mel and I that we decided to use it for prom. So exquisite. The floral one is also very pretty. I might have used it for my recital instead of my maroon gown =) I wanted to get a maroon baroque inspired dress the last time but I had to custom-order it online. Major turnoff... So I got my Daniel Yam one instead. Though it wouldn't hurt if I showed up in the floral dress =) It's so pretty~

Found these dresses at Bugis Street, level 2 of the new wing. The store is very noticeable. It has lots of pastel colors and very attractive to feminine females.

Yay

2011-09-25T22:30:00.000+08:00

Slightly edited skin as well as comments enabled! Finally my friends can now comment on my posts. Got rather irritated by the bots spamming my tagboard that I removed it but my friends couldn't comment on the posts so I've found an alternative. Anw, the photos are all edited with the exception of some. Changed the lines (if you hadn't notice the difference, this is of a warmer shade) and the top picture =) Hope to make some modifications to the skeletal structure another time =)

My salsa friends are so nice and caring =)

2011-09-25T21:50:00.000+08:00

Last day of recess week today. Went for WCS classes after church. We did some sugar toss/turn thingy and some push break and starter steps. I think it's quite cool and hopefully I can get the hang of it. After classes, I went for the usual dessert with some of them (Yenling, Ying Jie, Kai Fong and guy#1). Cherie and Darren didn't manage to go today but they were really nice =) They texted me and told me to take care, not to sit beside guy#1 and get either Ying Jie or Kai Fong to walk me to the train station/bus stop if I needed. So sweet of them cos they were afraid that guy#1 might start hitting on me again which (fortunately) he didn't. Whee~ But I'm glad that both Ying Jie and Kai Fong are really nice guys too~ Humorous and sweet I guess? =)

Flashbulb memory

2011-09-24T21:43:00.001+08:00

I'm reading my psy reading asg on flashbulb memory now. I've been slacking too much during the recess week by watching Briliant Legacy/Shining Inheritance. It's super nice. Even my parents watch with me but they'll turn in earlier especially when I watch till 1+, 2+ in the morning. Just finished the whole series yesterday (yes, I've spent at least 30 hrs watching the entire series over the past 5 days, i.e. abt 6 hrs a day or 5-6 episodes a day.

Went shopping with Cait and Mel yesterday. Yay~ Dined at Hot Tomato at 313 before shopping. We went to H&M! It wasn't as crowded as the weekends (Hurray for recess week). The clothes were reasonably priced too and the quality's decent. Cait bought a pair of suede grey wedges and tights, Mel bought a pair of denim slippers and I bought a black cropped blazer. I've been looking for one recently and I'm so glad I've managed to find a suitable one =) After which, Mel left for tuition and Cait and I headed to F21, Topshop and walked to Ion too =) Mel says she did the least damage yesterday but I told her it was investment or retail therapy. Hehe =p Quite glad to hang out with them, especially Cait cos I rarely see her in school =/

So back to the topic of flashbulb memory. Apparently, it is a hypothesized phenomenon in which memories created by presumed special mechanism which involves some surprise or shock (i.e. assasination of some president/ explosion of the space shuttle..) are vivid, complete and accurate and immune to forgetting. However, this is not the case.

I've somewhat figured this out prior to reading this article. My memory isn't good. I am not 100% confident of what has happened and sometimes, I'm just afraid that I might forget people whom I've met before, so I usually keep at least one item as remembrance.

I still have the schedule book and Me to You card which Shuyun gave me on my 14th birthday and sometime when I was 15 respectively. We used to hung out a lot during the first few years of my primary school life. We were like twins and we had similar interest. We love poetry and wrote lots of poems to each other and we love writing letters too.

I still have the precious thots figurines of a "2" and a "7" which my neighbour gave me on my 14th birthday. I used to spend my childhood (when I was 10 to ard 14) playing with my neighbour and brother during the holidays. We used to play hide and seek, computer games or pokemon.

I still have the jigsaw puzzle of the kittens and a bracelet which Cheng gave me on my 18th birthday and vday. He's been a really good friend to me, taking care of me, going the extra miles just to make me happy. He kept me company especially the first few months when Ben stopped talking to me.

I still have the plushies Mel gave me on my 18th and 20th bday. I've known Mel since I was 15. At first, I thought she was a bit bimbotic but then I realised she's a really great best friend. Hehehe.. Mel, if you're reading this, that was my first impression of you but not anymore =) She's been really supportive of me together with Kia especially over the past few years =)

I still have the letters, bracelets, necklaces which Kia gave my every now and then since my 16th bday. I've known Kia since I was 15 too. She's been my best friend for 6 years already. She's really caring and understanding, especially those times when I really needed her support. Oh, and the stuffed bunnies too =) You're still the same kind girl I've known. Don't let guys bully you. You deserve better, definitely lots better.

I still have the pink archer shirt which Cait and Chel designed for my 17th bday =) It's really comfortable and it's hot pink! =p I've known Chel since I was 15 and we were always working together for council and such =) She's still the top in Math =p As for Cait, I only got to know her better when we became toilet mates. Back then, she was humorous. I still remember the time when you had so much fun using the vacuum cleaner to vacuum up the supper =) and all your paintings on the walls of your side of the room =p
I still have the letters and such from Ben. Chua has told me to throw them all away or burn them a few years ago but I just couldn't. I know my memory's probably altered right now. I can't say what had happened during the past few years. I'm not even sure if what I've recalled is accurate (flashbulb memory, I presume). He may not even be the same person I remember him to be. Thus, I only have these letters as evidence that he was once my mortal, my best friend and I'm certain that there was at least a period of time when I was happy.

I still have the Xmas and bday cards, as well as bday gifts from Chua. Although she's supposed to be 2 years my junior, she's taller than me and also more matured =x Hehe.. She's also been really supportive of me and introduced me to doing shoots (which I seldom do now). I've known her for the past 6 years already (gosh, I suddenly feel so old).

I still have the little cards from Yunhui, Yiwei, Hena and Mae Hwee for the past few vdays, convocation days and bdays =) They're a lovely group of friends whom I chat to a lot during class. Like Yunhui during chinese class and how we meddle with the projector =p Yiwei, the times we danced together and she stayed on in dance with me though we were the only 2 year 8s left (2 years ago). Hena for chatting with me during math classes and listening to me hum all my compositions especially when I was 18. Had lots of inspirations then =p Mae Hwee for being such a nice friend all these years =)

I still have the deflated helium balloon from Daelus for vday this year. He gave to every p-team girl =) So sweet but yea, he's my nice salsa senpai~ Once a senpai, always a senpai =p

I still have the cute kiwi magnetic bookmark from Cherie. She gave it to us as a souvenir from her NZ trip =x So glad to receive it cos I didn't manage to travel much during the hols cos of Rag..

I still have the pic of the potato fries Cindy gave me =) Cos it's edible and is probably stored somewhere in my body now =x Cindy's been a really good friend and my lecture buddy these days. Kinda sad that we don't take as many lectures together.. It used to be 4, then 3 and now still 3 =x

I still have the scores which Ron asked me to help him keep until his big day. Ron, you better rmb to get it back before your big day ok? =) And remember to invite me!! =)

Hopefully I won't forget these people =)

Heartstrings in B

2011-09-19T01:07:00.000+08:00

Heartstrings in B
The cream white gown, and flowy train
As you walk down the aisle
Holding a bouquet, veil over your face
But I still see your smile

The black tuxedo, and rose corsage
As you wait down the aisle
Hear the canon play, confetti in the air
We'll be on in a while

Chorus:
It was like a dream, a fantasy
When I first saw you
I thought you were just too good for me
To be true
But I love you with all of my heart
I promise you
Walking down the aisle today
Saying I do

Slacking all day

2011-09-19T01:04:00.000+08:00

Yes, I've been slacking the whole of today. Didn't do anything today either. Thankfully it's the hols or I'll be so dead cos I've not read my psych journals nor did my math tuts nor revise Japanese. Went for WCS today at Mosaic. It's quite fun. We've learnt the starter position which is also a close hold but instead of putting our hand behind the back, we put it on the guys bicep/tricep (whichever's in front). Afterwhich, we had desserts at Ah Choon =) Most of the guys in WCS are nice (I'm refering to those who are not in the p-team) =)

Bought my korean drama today (which is supposed to be a treat after I finish studying but I've only watched 20 mins of it before my dad came home and wanted to watch soccer on tv. Anw, ManU:Chelsea is 3-1 now). Had dinner with Kaiye and Yima at Vivo when I met them on the train =)

When I reached home, I was too distracted to get any work done. Saw an ad on yacht chartering and was considering the pros and cons of having that for my 21st bday. Doesn't seem that likely that I would charter a yacht for my bday though it seems more unique and special. Haven't really thought about the other alternatives yet cos I cannot have 50 family members in my place (too small). Might have to book the club or some restaurant. I'm not even sure if I want to invite friends to my family party or have separate events...

On another note, I've finished one of my SoM project pieces titled "Waltz in C minor". I think it has a catchy tune but it doesn't seem like an A or A+ work. Thus, I've decided to recreate my other piece. Last year, i wrote a half-completed song for my teacher's wedding (which I didn't use in the end). So, I'm transcribing it into different parts and naming it "Heartstrings in B". I think it's a cool name cos I'm using only string instruments for it, except for a potential glockenspiel.

Lyrics for it in a separate post =)

Shopping~

2011-09-18T01:11:00.000+08:00

Went shopping with Mel today! Was super happy. We walked around Bugis street for ard 3-4 hrs and we managed to get something after entering every shop =) I've bought a navy blue chiffon dress which came with a brown belt, a green belt and a white one. So pleased with my buys. Mel bought a leaf-inspired necklace, a unique wallet and some piece of clothing which I can't recall as I did not encode it in my memory well. After which, we headed to Heeren for dinner with Anton at waraku =) (Hope that I wasn't too much of a lightbulb)

Dinner's great. We all had half and half set which was very filling and Mel was so pleased with herself as she had selected 2 of the most expensive pastas for her half and half set. After which, we headed to *scape for a walk around the flea market. There were nice clothes but Mel and I didn't get any. We went for coffee at Coffee Bean at 313 =) It's so nice to just chill and I can't believe I've hung out with Mel so long today~ It's been a really long time since I've hung out with a friend for at least 1/3 of a day.

On our way home, when we were changing trains at Dhoby Ghaut station, a man suddenly exclaimed in an audible voice, "Brudder, can walk faster anot?" Upon seeing out stunned and perplexed expression, he repeated himself to which we couldn't comprehend what he said. After a while, we just stared at each other, wondering what had just happened. While on the train with Mel, I told her that I didn't understand what the man was saying initially as I thought he wasn't speaking in English. It sounded odd to me. (Wells, pardon me. I prefer to speak in grammatically correct English though I won't deliberately point out grammatically incorrect English when I hear it.) I just feel like correcting the grammar now, it's somewhat an occupational hazard sometimes, or perhaps just me.

Firstly, "brother" is not pronounced as "brudder". Secondly, although "brother" supposedly sounds more "social", I feel that a more appropriate word like "excuse me" or "sorry, but.. (direct translation from Japanese - sumimasen ga...)" could be used. Thirdly, "anot" does not exist in the English Dictionary, less so in Ancient English. It seemed more like a substitution for the chinese character "吗". Wells, every language has its own set of grammar rules. Chinese, English and Japanese have different grammar rules and I feel that such rules are meant to be followed else others may be unable to comprehend what one is saying. I felt that the better way to put the question is "Excuse me, could you please walk faster?" At least it shows some courtesy as well (Yes, I'm very particular about that).

*side note, I think that I'll never be able to find a life long partner if I'm so particular about grammar, etiquette, social cues and such. It is rare to find a guy who is of a certain standard..*

Wells, Mel and I did have a good laugh, though the poor guy might have been rather irritated (?)

Overall, today was enjoyable =)

TGIF not.

2011-09-17T00:41:00.000+08:00

I just spent 1 hr typing a super long post and I lost it cos i logged out. Apparently it wasn't saved? o.O Oh dear.. Gahs, probably means I shouldn't have posted it.

Great job to my junior dancers for the wonderful performance =)

bloop bloop meet my viral fish

2011-09-15T00:37:00.000+08:00

＜・))))＞＜ *bloop bloop*

Today's been a busy day. Rushed to NUS High to pick up tickets for friday's concert. Woohoo~ Our juniors are doing 4 items for performance. That's real great cos we've usually been doing only 1 item. Hope they'll do their best and shine on the stage on Friday =)

After that, rushed back to school for Jap tut. Was punctual but senei was earlier than me although I came in with Kimura sensei =p Hehehe.. Jap tut was fun though sometimes I can't catch what sensei's saying esp when she says something profound.. Have to use top-down processing and judge from her actions.

Got the key for YIH dance studio and realised that we're having another starbucks soon (at the former munchie monkeys place) whee~ We're the first institute to have starbucks. In fact, we have 2! =)

Dance prac was pretty smooth. Thanks to Licheng taking control today as Daelus wasn't here. Taught us simple patterns like left-turn-CBL-right-turn. Hahaha~ I can even lead girls (one of my few biggest achievements in suan-ing guys). Hopefully I can be good at it so all the girls can practise too. Had bday celebration for Chunsiong and Shaziran too =) Next time, must get them to do a proper bday dance.

After which, I headed to Utown for Moltres gathering! Met Shunping on the way. How nice of Jingying to ask him to meet me first before looking for the rest of them =) Met Weiqi, Don, Kevin and Xinlin who were on their way home. Headed to meet the rest (Mama, Wutian, Xuan, Xinyu, Jingying, Macadia) but a lot of them left as Shunping and I arrived =/ Then Jingying, Xinyu, Xuan, Shunping and I played with SPARKLERS!! =) So fun! Even the security guard was staring at us but she didn't say anything =p I guess the last time I played with sparklers might be when I was 17, during mid-autumn festival too, in hostel. Ahh.. Those were the days. I even made snowskin mooncake then but this year's kinda busy.. With 6 mods and 1 test on friday (I've not even studied for Friday's test yet.. uh-oh..)

A short hiatus + 2 guys I have to rant about

2011-09-13T00:00:00.000+08:00

I've been MIA for a while. School's been busy but that shouldn't be the excuse. Firstly, a shout out to KIA.

KIAKIA~ Happy Birthday! =)
She's been my best friend for 5 years already. I won't claim that I know her inside out but she's been there for me for a long time, especially during the times when I felt all alone.

Let me just rant off about 2 guys I've encountered these days.

Guy #1
On Friday night, I went for socials at Jitterbugs (as usual) with the Tong, Liting, Darren, Daelus, Ben and Dingyan. Danced with Daelus a few times before I went to one side to practise my on1 steps according to the music when a guy approached me for a dance. I accepted it. He is a beginner so I didn't mind the fact that he had to listen to the music for a couple of seconds before picking up when the start. I didn't mind the fact that his lead wasn't on time and neither was it accurate. So after the dance, he asked for my name which I politely gave since it was customary for people to introduce themselves at socials. He went on about asking me out for dinner, to which I was appalled and hesitant (think of the Japanese chotto if you understand Japanese). Then he asked about what I did in my free time in which I replied in an akward manner about learning dancing. After which he asked about where I've learnt to dance and when I said that I was learning WCS with mosaic, he immediately said that he missed the first lesson and he would be there on Sunday. Then he asked for my number. Thinking that it would be useful for him to at least have the contact detail of someone attending WCS classes (just in case he got lost), I gave him my number only to realise it was a mistake later on. After a few more minutes of chatting uncomfortably, I made some excuse and rushed outside when I saw Daelus and the rest making their way out and confided in them.
Me to them: I think some guy is hitting on me.
Them: Who?
Me: Some guy but I think he's scary *relates story*
Went back in with Tong and that guy asked her for a dance in which she hijacked halfway. I tried to keep away from him as much as possible for that night, even to the extent of standing outside the room and watching the WCS people dance in the other room. Was talking to Darren and Tong when Tong spotted guy#1 attempting to chat with Liting. Tong and I went out of the room while Darren made his way to save Liting. Talked to the girls for a while. More guys asked for a dance, at least I would say they had a decent lead and they had a better feel towards them.
I was talking to Tong when a guy asked her for a dance. Then guy#1 came and asked me for a dance so I just accepted it reluctantly. After which, his lead showed some improvement, at least the rhythm was somewhat there but the moves... Sometimes I just feel like leading Tong or some girl. I can't do fanciful stuff that Dingyan and Daelus do but hey, I can do a decent CBL, CBLT, left turn and right turn + Dingyan's fanciful hand-switching thingy. After the dance, I hurriedly make my way out to the WCS side of the room. After a while longer and more dances with other guys, I danced with Dingyan. After the dance, Dingyan so kindly taught me how to do diet coke and coke on2 while guy#1 was watching from a short distance, seemingly waiting for a chance to pounce. After Dingyan explained the dance moves, he casually asked "So wanna dance again?" I'm so grateful that he has saved me once again. When I was done social dancing, Darren offered to walk me to the train station. He's so nice. Wells, it did felt safer than to have guy#1 following me (which he didn't probably cos I left without much notice).

When I was home, I received a text from guy#1 "U reached home safely?" Utterly shocked at the horribly grammatically incorrect English and the phrasing of the question. Firstly, it should have been "Have you reached home safely" to be grammatically correct. Secondly, as a first meeting, one should avoid having questions which prompts the other person to reply just in case the other person does not wish to reply. So, it should have been "Thanks for the dance. Hope you've reached home safely" It sounds more polite, less creepy. Even if you are intending to hit on the girl, please don't be so direct and try to be as subtle as possible.

Told Tong about it and she seconded my opinion on ignoring him. So did Daelus and Dingyan who offered slightly irrelevant advice, but good advice too =)

Next day, I received another text. "U going WCS class tmr". Another grammatically incorrect statement. Sometimes I feel that guys should be clear of what their "target" is like. Sometimes I just wish to say in their face "Hello, can't you tell from my non-singlish accent that I refrain from Singlish as much as possible and I'm a person who values etiquette?" Again I ignored.

On sunday, the p-team people protected me from guy#1. Yay~ =)

Now, on to guy#2.

I was at the bus stop at vivocity today, waiting for my bus to arrive. I sat at the end of the bench, a short distance away from another lady who was on my left. Guy#2 appeared out of nowhere (ok, he didn't just appeared from thin air but I just didn't notice him) and attempted to slot himself in the tiny free space between the lady and I. With better judgement, I shifted more to the right till I was supporting my entire body weight on a quarter of my rear. I peered out to keep a look out for my bus as there was a tall man standing before me (he was already there when I sat down). After a while, guy#2 muttered "Hey fat guy, move out of the way." I turned back and stared at guy#2 for a while. In my mind, I was thinking "Hello, pot calling the kettle black. Who was the one who underestimated the surface area of his rear? Besides, the guy was there before you sat down. Don't blame the poor guy for your lack of forsight that your fengshui isn't good."

Grr.. Sometimes these people are really irritating me. Which brings me to the point of guy#3 (which I recalled by associating all the irritation)

I was boarding the bus recently when guy#3 boarded the bus too, with a half-eaten McDonald's vanilla ice cream cone. The bus driver stopped him and he replied rudely "Just a bit more, almost done." The bus driver kindly explained to him that the company prohibits ice cream on the bus, to which, he stood beside the bus driver and munch a bit more of his ice cream and threw it onto the grass patch near the pedestrian walking and hollered at the bus driver "Can go already" (all conversation translated directly from his crude Chinese. I can't believe he was still so indignant about his own fault. I just felt like going up to him and say "Uncle, do people respect others and nature less when they become more mature?" Yes, I know I'm always to prim and princess-like with my emphasis on etiquette. I just don't understand how people can be so ignorant of grace, respect and etiquette. He could have said "I'm sorry, I didn't know. Could you please wait for me while I dispose of the ice cream?" See? How difficult is it to say something nicer. Perhaps, I'm influenced by too much of Japanese culture which I believe it's a good thing. Sometimes I wonder, is it a man's pride that causes one not to apologise for their fault or for anything even if it isn't their fault, just to ease the situation?

Oh wells, I feel like I'm becoming like Tong these days. A little critical about my surroundings. Not sure if it's good or bad though.

And a final note:
I apologise if my post is too offensive to you. I'm just a normal girl who strives to speak grammatically correct English, Mandrin and Japanese. I also believe in being punctual, etiquette-trained and respectful. I am not some -wannabe just because I strive to be grammatically correct while some people don't.

Gel is mature~ =)

2011-09-03T23:08:00.000+08:00

Had outing with the chinese youth group today =) Bernadette, Vinus, Vinn, Gabrielle, Linda, Simon and Jacky were there. Had fun picnicking at siloso beach, playing with the frisbee and beach ball and cards. It's been a rather relaxing day though I still have my pile of hw undone. Still left with 1 qn of linear 2, 2 qns of ma and 1 40-page dq to read by monday. (cos I decided to finish up jap and graph tuts first cos they were easier. Yeah, graph proofs aren't that difficult cos at least you can argue with words but ma and linear proofs have to be argued with symbols and numerals.)

Anw, Linda told me that I'm pretty matured for my age. *aww..* I guess in a sense I do have a plan and such. I may not have been through a lot, but I guess I have my own ups and downs in life. I like to have a plan of everything, whether I abide by it religiously or not is another matter. But at least, there is something I can refer to and ensure that I try to keep to it as much as possible, especially if I'm on some adrenaline rush to get things done. I've planned out all the modules I will take in uni. (Yes, I've planned until year 4). I've got my own schedule book which I'm trying to keep to and striking off assignments which I've completed. It doesn't help that I've got to at least finish reading the first 9 chapters of my psy tb before the third friday of Sept cos I have a test then. (Scared myself. For a moment I thought it was this friday. I've only browsed through the first 2 chapters and attempted to do a mindmap of the third chapter.. 4 more to go this week, hopefully by friday)

I'm grateful that my family upbringing, everything that I've experienced and my interest in Japanese culture has influenced how I am now. I have a lot more freedom than my counterparts (even more than some guys too). My parents always emphasized on various etiquette, ranging from dining to posture. I have been exposed to Japanese culture since I was at least 7-8 (I recall one of my first few animes include Akazukin Cha Cha). It was during my early teens when I stumbled across my all-time favourite manga, Fruits Basket. It may be very idealistic to others but I feel that there's so much I can learn from the lead character. I try to be as polite and gracious as I can, along with my ideals of a Japanese culture. I know I say sorry countless times in any conversation but my "sorry" is different in meaning from most people's (rmb, I'm influenced by Japanese culture). Nonetheless, my consistent "sorry" kind of irritated my best friend yet I'm grateful for his existence cos he taught me many things which made me who I am now. Losing him was not the best memory, but it is a valuable lesson learnt.

Ok, onwards to more cheerful stuff... Just some shout-outs to people =)
Ilya: Hold on to your dreams. Live your story =)
Yunhui: Happy belated bday. I'm so sorry I forgot to wish you cos I was so pre-occupied with Bailamos.

Dance the night away

2011-09-03T00:55:00.000+08:00

Oh wells, I've still got a lot to do. Hopefully tmr's outing won't be too long. I need to read my DQ2 and do ma and linear asg by MONDAY! I've only done one question for linear.. Still have another to go while ma is *uh-oh* oh wells. The past few days have been tiring cos of Bailamos and other stuff. Haven't been doing much hw or study much. Rather, I feel like I'm gonna be like part-time dancer, part-time student these days. Just signed up for WCS on sunday.. hehehe.. Thus I need to manage my time better. Hopefully it'll be better cos I didn't manage to do much work cos of Bailamos and I've done all my make-up tuts for it but not a make-up lecture =/

All the ebst to everyone who's working hard now. Don't give up and let's work hard together =)

Moltres moltres all the way

2011-08-30T00:57:00.000+08:00

It's been a really busy day today. Had graph lecture in the morning in which I was kinda dozing off... Slept rather late after salsa rehearsal last night. Cos I went for dinner with the rest at Kopitiam, had cake at The Cafe Cartel and read manga before sleeping =p Thus, if you notice my notes or rather scrutinize them, you'll realize that they are slanted at an angle today..

There wasn't Jap tutorial today cos tmr's Hari Raya~ Had lunch with Theodore and Cindy at the canteen. It's been a real long time since I've last eaten with them.

Then went for SEP talk. Quite interesting. Should start planning more and mapping modules over...

SOM tutorial. A little dry and I was about to doze off though I was sitting right in front.. Hehehe..

Did some hw with Cindy before linear lecture. Couldn't sit still at all during lecture. It was cold, I was bored..

Had Moltres dinner today! It's just Mel, Shunping, Xuan, Don, Wai kit, Kevin and I. Had dinner at some Yoshimaru Ramen Bar at HV ^-^ It's really good. Followed by ice cream at Ice Cold Creamery~ Yummy ^-^ Htht... Stirred Shunping, Kevin and Xuan.. Haha~ Then we headed home..

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Tmr's gonna be a long day for me. Tuition in the morning, then pick up some lunch and dance prac in the afternoon. Hope tmr's practice will be good =)

This week in a glance

2011-08-27T21:58:00.000+08:00

The past week flew by rather quickly.

Mon: Jap tutorial started =) I've got Ootsuka sensei for my tutor. There are some familiar faces in my jap tutorial and some guy who mentioned that his favourite idol is AKB48 while introducing himself (we all have to introduce ourselves). So I guess jap classes will get more interesting. Psy tutorial was ok too =) I thought I'll be so lonely since Xinying and I aren't in the same tut but I met my old classmate, Michelle, there. She's gotten prettier, probably cos she has long hair now. The last I rmb, she had short hair but her handwriting's really neat. The group of people I was sitting with were really nice too. There's Michelle, Jeffrey, Sakina, Nitri and another girl. Quite lively too =)

Tues: Graph tut was fun too. Probably cos Theodore was in the same tut as me =) Hurray! Tuts are more enjoyable when you have people you know =) Went to give tuition too.

Wed: Dental in the morning. Followed by lunch at FCX with Junwei cos it's his bday. Did a bit of homework in the afternoon at arts while Junwei was writing some cards. Met some rag freshies while doing my stuff... Met Kangrui too and he joined us for a while. Met Cherie and chatted with her abt jap and salsa =) Jap tut was enjoyable as well. More familiar faces as I meet those from TA class =) and Rozli san from my TA class last sem =) Salsa's great today. Choreo-ed a short part with Daelus to teach the rest during audition. Audition's great. Hopefully we can have more guys too =) Cos Daelus and Cherie will be graduating this year.. So there'll only be Squid, Darren and Chunsion left.. Plus Tong, Melissa and I..

Thurs: Mad rush for lectures and tuts. Lecture at science then rush to arts for jap. Lunch with Kangrui at the deck and practised convo for TC later. Rushed back to science for tut. Cindy crashed mat tut and I met Wu Tian there =) Hurray~ More ppl in same tut ^-^ Rushed to arts for TC. Late for jap TC though.. But at least Kangrui's in the same class ^-^ Then rushed back to science for last lecture of the day and rushed to YIH to collect dance studio keys for Thursday Salsa Beginner Class =) The turnout's pretty good. Miraculously, we have more guys than girls in the class, just slightly. Kangrui joined salsa class too =) Hopefully more of my friends might wanna join it next sem or what =)

Fri: Last day of the week. Quite tired.. 7 hours of tut and lectures before rushing to give tuition and rushing for socials. Met some Moltres freshies in the morning at pink tables cos I decided to alight one stop later (together with Xinying after psy lecture). We were all in white! Then met Kia and we went for lecture together. Met Gwen on the way who was fiddling with the lock cos she couldn't open the locker. Kia helped her and voila ^-^ It opened =) Had cheesecake for lunch during lecture. Met Shunping and Kegan in the canteen during my lecture break. Yay~ Liting, Squid, Rebecca (Squid's gf), Darren, Ben and Daelus were there =) Social's pretty enjoyable but tiring.. Especially after dance 2 consecutive dances with Daelus cos he keeps going for 2-3 turns. But I feel that I learn more from him when I social with him. Squid's not bad too =)

Sat: Totally slacked today. Slept till 11 then went out for lunch and some shopping before redoing my math asgs. Slacked at night too.. I was supposed to have finished my mindmap for chapt 3 and 4 but I don't think I have enough motivation to do that esp since I'm reading manga ^-^

Tmr: There's gonna be dance rehearsal at SMU tmr.. Maybe I should bring my 40 pg long journal to read.. o.O Can't believe my psy lecture just gave us a 40pg long journal to read for discussion. To think that last week's journal (~20pg) was long...
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Shoutout to Ilyasviel:
JIA YOU! Life's gonna get tougher but hang in there =)

A day's work

2011-08-20T22:02:00.000+08:00

Gave tuition today. I hope my kid understands all those math concepts. Did lots of algebra with her today cos it's the fastest way to solve problems and doesn't involve much model drawing.

Went for salsa today. There's only Squid, Melissa, Daelus and I today, so we practised with our partners. Melissa's getting better =) She learns real fast too. Daelus tried some weird combination on me while doing on2 =x Hehe.. I'm not very good with on2. Can barely do more advance stuff on1.

Headed to vivo to pick up some stuff and I found fruit chips and vegetable chips at Diaso! =) I've tried the fruit chips and they were delicious. Hehe.. Oh yea, while queueing up at the cashier, there was a japanese mother and her son queueing behind me. I'm so glad that I'm taking jap 2 now cos I can understand a little of what she's telling her son.

Jap mother:はるちゃん、ちょっともってね。
(she was trying to get her son to hold the basket for her while she looks at some item)

So cool right? I'm so glad I've more or less memorised all the new vocab in lesson 14 which includes more verbs. Time to study lesson 15 now.

Slacked till dinner and then finished reading my psy journal for discussion group on monday. Tutorials will be commencing soon and I've only finished jap and graph tutorials =x Sighs.. I've still got math and linear to do. Ok, I've done psy too =x

And yups, I've told my mom abt it and she's pretty cool with it =) Hehehe.. Time to just remain green light red arrow for now =) There may be times when it feels a bit lonely to see others attached while you're not but to me, it's just envy that the couple is so sweet and loving and hopefully, I'll find mine too =)

Hearts Hearts

2011-08-19T23:38:00.000+08:00

I think it's really great to watch my close friends all get attached one by one. I'm really happy for them that they've managed to find their other half, especially since most of us are hitting the big TWO OH, and at least a quarter of our life has been spent. I'm glad that Kia, Mel, Chua, Xinying, Cindy have all found someone to depend on. There's still Cheryl and Cait though. Hopefully they'll find someone who deserves them cos they're all great ladies.

To my 2 other good friends, I really don't wish to get karma from stirring you both but the temptation is too hard to resist. Especially since I'm certain I won't get karma =) muahahaha~

As for me, after at least 2 months of telling people I'm amber. I guess I'm relieved to be green light red arrow now. So it's time for me to reflect on what I really want.

Previously, I had a set of criteria:

1. At least 1.8m

2. Decently good-looking

3. Artistic

4. Teddy bear shaped

5. Neither smoke nor drink

6. Someone who can provide me with emotional and spiritual support

and others.

Yet, as I review this set of criteria, I realised that I'm not defining the type of person I hope to be with but rather a single person. Those were the characteristics of the only one I loved. Hence, I started striking off various things. Can't take photos? Can't do 2D art? Nevermind, it's not that important after all. Not teddy bear shaped? Nevermind, appearance doesn't really matter. However, now I'm uncertain of what I look for. So while I try to rediscover what it is that I really really want/need, I have decided to take more time off. I didn't manage to do it previously but this time I will keep to it.

I'll like to believe that I've not experienced the greatest love story yet. In the event that I don't, I'll be more than contented to have experienced my own fairytale story. I'm pretty amazed how much it resembles my ideal relationship so I shan't ask for more. I have been very fortunate and blessed, thus far =)

A simplified version. This is what I mean by artistic =)

Second week of school

2011-08-17T23:29:00.000+08:00

Phew, just finished salsa welcome tea. The event was rather impromptu (so sorry.. will be more prepared for social nights) but the turn out was quite ok, I guess? There were lots of people and some signed up for classes. Hurray~ I'll be taking the Thursday classes so for those who wants to join salsa, do sign up for the thursday class form 7-8pm. More details on Salsanus

Anw, went out for lunch with Pat today =) Haven't seen her in ages. Caught up with her and talked abt lots of stuff. Had lunch at some japanese restaurant which had huge servings. We even went for a quick shopping. I bought 2 water bottles (cos I misplaced my previous one). She bought a lovely blue-green checkered dress.

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Two weeks into a new semester and I am about to forecast my grades. I foresee myself doing not very well for cognitive psychology and linear algebra 2 =/ Seems quite tough but I'll try harder.. I think the subjects I'm most confident in for now are Jap 2, Science of Music and Graph Theory (irony since it's a year 3 mod but I've some basic knowledge abt it).

New skin

2011-08-15T21:49:00.000+08:00

Hey guys, just did a new skin. Quite plain since I reused the previous template and just changed some colors and pics. Hopefully it'll be something more refreshing since I've not changed it in a while. When I have more time, I should get down to redo-ing the whole template and reading up on more javascripts.

School has started, Rag has ended. Just mixed feelings. Oh wells... I guess it's a choice I've made today. Let's live with no regrets =)

The past few weeks in a post

2011-06-27T23:04:00.000+08:00

Last sat, I went to USS with Ryan. It's really aweomse =) Had lots of fun there riding all those fun rides, just walking around and enjoying my day off from Rag. We went on the Madagascar boat ride thingy.. It's just a light-hearted ride. Then we went on Far Far Away's roller coaster and Shrek 4D. Quite cool =) After which, we had churros~ Yummy =) Next was the Lost World ride. The queue was really long but the ride was rather pleasant, except that I was more concerned about water getting into the raft than observing the dinosaurs and such =p Next, we took the Mummy ride. It's pretty scary and I was screaming throughout the ride. Most probably added the extra fear factor in the ride (I'm sorry if the other passengers were freaked out by my screams and not the ride). We rode on Battlestar Galatica too =) Unfortunately, I only dared to go on the red tracks cos the blue tracks had the 360 thingy... Poor Ryan, he tried really hard to psycho me into going on the blue tracks. Guess he'll go with Roth the next time.. I was quite sore from screaming during the mummy ride that battlestar galatica didn't seem that scary. Went to other attractions too and bought some stuff as well before heading for dinner at Vivo. Dined at Ajisen Ramen =) Followed by Hei Ice Cream from Awfully Chocolate. I love the ice cream there. It's better than Ben&Jerry's phish food =p Chatted a bit and Ryan was so kind to walk me home from vivo =) Like just chat and walk.. =p

Sunday to Friday:
SCAMP! Had so much fun with my lovely freshies and talking to the seniors =) Hehe.. But I guess I had more fun disturbing and being so childish with Shunping/Zikai. Hahaha~ Showed him the "this is his face" thingy. The most amazing thingy I learnt in SCAMP was from Janyce. Bee Chin had a knee injury and she was cautiously removing the gauze and tape so Janyce asked if it hurts and ripped the gauze off. Bee Chin was stunned for a while but elated that her "suffering" was shortened. So I did the same =) Hehe.. Shunping had a plaster on his hairy leg.. So when I noticed him removing it gently, I just ripped it off.. So now he has this little patch which is free of leg hair.. Hahaha~ And he still harps on it.. Even today. Mel usually has her BPS moments while Xinying's all ready to hype up anything! Really glad to have the seniors in my OG =)

*cheers*
We're really hot today
You meet us then you suay
Cos we will fight, play, win the game
The MOLTRES way
No matter what you do
Whether you're green or blue
When you face us MOLTRES
You are number two
Moltres, Moltres, All the way x3
WHOOOOOOOO~~~~!! =)

Weekend:
Dance classes and workshops at Mosaic dance. So cool! I might learn Zouk and Tango nuevo after Rag ends.. Now's like a super packed period for me. Dinner with Dingyan for both nights at MOS burger and Ajisen Ramen. OH, and I just bought a new pair of black heels =) Loves~

Today:
Rag freshies came down today. Bonded with them a little. Still trying hard to rmb the names and such. Helped a bit at aesthetics while chatting to Shunping before I went off for dinner and meet up with Ron. Haven't seen him in ages but I'm glad I've finally returned him his GC and nee her CM1131 notes. Gosh, it's taken me almost forever. Had fried kway teow and gongcha =) Talked a bit abt army happenings, the upcoming reunions and such.. I guess, in a way I'm pretty glad to have met him today =)

Batam trip

2011-06-05T22:57:00.000+08:00

I'm back from Batam!! Went to Batam yesterday with my salsa friends, Cherie, Marilyn, Sherry, Darren, Licheng, Chunsiong, Squid, Dingyan and Daelus =) It was super fun. We met at around 10+ at harbourfront, grabbed something light to eat before boarding the ferry to Batam. It was an hour ride. Kinda tired from the lack of sleep the night before (though mine's mild relative to Daelus). Slept a bit on the ride, listened to my itouch, played some games and chatted a bit with Dingyan, Sherry and Chunsiong.

Arrived at Harris Resort and nuah-ed on the day bed with Cherie while Marilyn and Licheng went to settle the stuff.. Daelus was catching some beauty sleep on the couch while Dingyan was shooting Cherie and I =) Love the daybed.. It's super cool with the canopy thingy =) Then we headed for pizza for lunch =) Really yummy =)

Went to unload our stuff at Licheng and Dingyan's room before deciding on what to do. Played a game of bowling.. Licheng's super pro. He's scored a turkey.. Darren and the rest of the guys were really good too. Dingyan was trying to master the curve ball shot but he did not succeed. My score was quite cui.. Same as Sherry. Marilyn's pretty good though =) Note to self: I must rmb to cut my nails or bring nail file if I'm bowling cos I always chip my nail.. Especially the right thumb =/ Now my nail is relatively shorter than the rest. Oh wells...

Went to play go-kart. It's $18 for 10 mins or 125000 rupiah. (I don't like rupiah.. Why can't they jsut remove the excess 0s so it's easier for me to count =/) I went on the ride once.. Some of them went twice or thrice. It's rather thrilling but bumpy.. The route was rather short but there's quite a lot of bends.. A few of them drove out of the course though.. Hahahaha~

Being briefed on the safety and such.

After which, we headed back to the hotel and went to the pool to play. Dingyan decided to take a rinse before heading for the pool..

How many engineers does it take to turn off the tap? 3.

Then he realised the shower won't turn off... and the engineers attempt to solve the problem while businessman Daelus stands by and watch. Sherry and I were laughing at the guys while I tried to snap that shot. Then we headed in. Marilyn kindly shielded me from the guys as I remove my top cos I found it kinda revealing but I like the design =p Then us girls attempted to get into the pool before the guys noticed us. Swam a bit in the pool and splashing each other before playing water basketball. It's tiring and unfortunately for me, my toes could barely touch the ground at some parts of the pool so I couldn't even run against the water current. We scored, chased the ball, laughed at each others, clapped and cheeret at each goal. Had lots of fun and it was really no-brainer and exciting.

Had bbq dinner. Not really worth the money but it's a hotel plus it was 8 so we weren't willing to go elsewhere for dinner. I guess the food was ok. Marilyn and Licheng were feeding a cat under the table. It's so cute. It even knows how to make those puppy eyes (Grandmasters, go learn how to do it properly =p). Then we went to get some chips and booze. I guess it's pretty alright. Didn't eat or drink cos Marilyn and I quickly brushed our teeth to prevent ourselves from snacking. Played monopoly deal, bridge, tai-ti. Super fun! Then we watched daybreaker2 which was on HBO while Marilyn headed back to our room to sleep and Sherry and Chunsiong headed back to their room. It was quite alright.. Not too scary.. Licheng, Dingyan and Squid were looking at me while I attempt to close my ears at those "scary" moments while Daelus sleeps on soundly..

Went back to my room to sleep after the movie ended.

Woke up in the morning slightly before my alarm rang. Headed from breakfast. It's quite good actually =) Lots of food though I only eat selected food for breakfast. After which we headed for our massage. It was quite hilarious cos there were 3 girls and 5 guys and the rooms were for 2 ppl. So Marilyn and Licheng went for the first one while the rest of us waited for Sherry and Chunsiong.. Then the lady ushered Dingyan and I into a room while Daelus (who has permanently "lost face") and Squid were roomed into one. So Dingyan and I were like super awkward in the room then we decided to ask for single but Chunsiong offered to switch so I did massage with Sherry =) It's super nice and 1 hr just flew by.. So relaxing =) However, I still prefer Javanese massage. It seems to be more effective for me, in terms of the tension release.

Headed back up to shower and pack my bags before gathering at Licheng and Dingyan's room. Daelus telephoned Sherry and Chunsiong and bluffed them that he was calling from the reception and that they had to check out soon. He also added "yes, sir" and Chunsiong really believed him. It was quite hilarious. Hahahaha~ We headed to a room to play cards after we checked out while waiting for our ride to Nagoya Center.

Had A&W for lunch/dinner then we headed to the supermart. Everything's like super cheap!!! Dingyan and I took 10 boxes of Tim Tam's cos it's a dollar for one =) I took some chips and minute maid too. Yeah~ Now I have minute maid for my camp =) and the raggers + red2 will have some Tim Tam's =)

Took a cab to the ferry terminal.. Played bridge before the ride. Took some group pics too =) Hehehe~ We were almost late for the ride cos the officer told us that we can only board 10 minutes later. He had mistaken our ride for the last ride (ours wast the second last ride which was scheduled to leave 30 mins before the last ride). Played bridge with Dingyan, Sherry and Chunsiong on the ferry back. Silly Sherry and Dingyan.. ogling at my chobits cards =x Hahaha~

Anw, I had so much fun. Thanks to my salsa friends =) Seeya all at jitters on friday! Hopefully I won't be too worn out from rag this week. I shall rmb to buy bubble tea before socials and not nap when I get home =x

---------

On another note... When I was at Batam, while having lunch, I was so surprised to see a sign saying "Mount Carmel Bible-presbyterian Church Lunch"... And in my mind, I was like.. It can't be that coincidential right. And the same went for dinner.. Noticed the same sign.. I don't know if I should be glad or not that I didn't meet someone and someone's family... Though it's been quite a long while already =x

Busy week

2011-06-03T22:49:00.000+08:00

The past few days have been rather enjoyable. Went on a short trip to m'sia cos my parents wanted to take the train. It feels like a train ride from Joo Koon to Pasir Ris (excluding the stops). It's pretty great cos I managed to get some rest and just relax without the need to think much about Rag.

Came back to Rag on wed and learnt new moves. Thurs, we editted moves and choreo-ed new moves. Had hot pot with Rag at night and it was really well-prepared =) Thanks to those who spend time and effort in it. Especially the guys who "opted" for role reversal and kindly volunteered themselves to cook so that the females can nuah and chat while waiting for the food to be cooked. Helped with aesthetics after that. Cut circles, triangles, painted and buah-ed... I can't paint properly =/ Attempted to paint one sculpture and ended up landing blotches of paint on other parts =x I think I shall stick to cutting the shapes.. Oh, and we played bridge too, to break out of the routined cutting/painting =p

Gave tuition this morning. Was rather tired as I slept for 3 hrs + before tuition. Slept for another hr on the bus ride there, gave tuition and slept on the bus ride back. However, on the way back, I was a little irritated by a guy. I was trying to get my beauty sleep when I sensed someone sat beside me. So I ignored it and continued to sleep. Then the guy who sat beside me woke me up (ok, theoretically I'm not in deep sleep so I don't think I can use wake..) and mumbled something in chinese. So I was like "What?" Then he asked if we could be friends =.= I rejected and went back to sleep while he went off to sit elsewhere.. To think that Kangrui was sharing a similar experience with Huifen, Xinying and I last night..

Came home earlier from Rag today with the intention of going for socials but I fell asleep after I got home. Woke up later, only to realise it's 9 (socials start at 9).. Thus I didn't go for the socials though I was so looking forward to it. Wells, nvm.. I shall get sufficient rest so I can play more with the social ppl tmr at Batam! Maybe I'll bring back some Batam food (what's good there?)...

Oh, and I need to pack my Batam bag and my prep camp bag later =/ I'll be back on Sunday and there's a camp from mon-wed =x Super packed!

Thou who speakest not English of olde art not special

2011-05-28T23:31:00.001+08:00

I have the sudden urge to pick up some Shakespeare plays and read the old english text and compare them with modern english. I feel that people of ancient times have better play with words to express different emotions rather than some modern day people who constantly uses a variety of colors in their language. It is not easy to master the art of language but I am keen to learn how to do so =)

Rag

2011-05-26T23:03:00.000+08:00

Two days ago, my knees were asymmetrical. Today they're more or less symmetrical. I've got an abrasion on my right knee (from lifting Xingyi, laughing and then almost dropping her) and a bruise on my left knee (from kneeling on the ground).

It's rag time. Initially I thought it'll be binding me and not gonna be very fun but I'm having fun now. I think it's quite interesting and exciting to choreograph dance moves. Somewhat, I seem to be rather different from what I used to be. Like more "nonsense" and being so eager when I come up with those couple lifts or turns and spins =) Hahaha~ Tried some lifts with Songyan.. Baohui only does the lifts with Wenjun and Xingyi isn't very inclined to dance with guys but she'll demonstrate the lifts on Baohui or I. Zhizhong is just the anything-goes-as-long-as-it's-not-nonsensical. I think we're rather ahead of schedule. Hope it'll be ok. I ought to show them my formations before I go on hols =x

Inxendio og 2 gathering today was quite fun. They went minds cafe first. Got to know a new guy. Xinying was super funny. Cos Amanda said, "This is the new guy, Shunping." Then Mel and I were talking about our junior Zikai whom she saw at minds cafe. Then Xinying thought Shunping was Zikai and was calling him Zikai! Hahaha~ It was hilarious. Then heard stories about sports comm =) So interesting and funny. Especially all those Mel's BPS moments =) Bought BBT at eskimo and gongcha too =) Then walked around paper market. Xinying bought those sticker alphabets while I was trying to look for those cardboard letters =p Hehe...

ハンサムな執事が欲しい♥

2011-05-15T00:43:00.000+08:00

今日「メイちゃんの執事」を見ました。今、ハンサムな執事が欲しいです～～～

Let's do euphemism

2011-05-14T00:58:00.000+08:00

Met up with Amanda today to do some OG stuff =) I can tell that I'm gonna love my OG ppl cos they're so fun and I hope they'll love the OG too =)

Headed to Cathay to do nails for Cindy. It's black with teal/turquoise + glitter at the tips.. Quite alright, was trying out the design Cherie posted on my wall.

Salsa was fun today. I've just learnt the names of some guys.. I'm always bad with names.. I've been dancing with a few guys regularly yet I either can't rmb their names or I don't know their names. So the new names I've learnt today are: Shore and Aaron. There's the two guys in the girl-with-short-hair-skinny-and-usually-wears-something-short group who dance with me but I can't rmb their names.. Then there's another one who teaches me new moves but I can't rmb his name either. He told me a few times but oh wells =p

-----

On with the topic for today - euphemism. I think I'm pretty much blessed with the gift of using nice words to portray a harsh fact or opinion.

For instance, I prefer people to call me "PETITE" or "FUN-SIZED" (this one's the brainchild of Ron) instead of "vertically-challenged", "dwarf", "short" or "midget". Notice how positive connotations are preferred over negative and neutral ones.

Instead of saying: It should be done this way.
Try saying: I think it should be done this way.
The latter is of a softer tone and it gives the listener the freedom to choose how he/she wants to do it although it means the same thing.

Instead of saying: Can you do this?
Try saying: Do you think you can do this? or Do you think it's possible for you to do this?
Same reason as above, the latter gives the listener the freedom to choose.

Instead of saying: Do you want this?
Try saying: Would you like this?
The latter is more polite (I feel).

** part 2 in another post cos I'm tired now **

lethargic

2011-05-13T00:20:00.000+08:00

I guess I'm pretty worn out today. I woke up at 630 to cut music for Rag. Followed by a cheer session. Didn't fly so it wasn't very tedious but equally draining. Followed by Dance meeting and lunch. After which, I rushed home to get showered, changed and rush out for a shoot today. Shoot's quite interesting today. Did a night shot. I didn't fall asleep this time while waiting for my MUA to do my make-up =p The last time, I kinda dozed off while she was drawing some fanciful pattern on my face... =p Some shots take like 60s to load so I had to repeat them a few times to get the perfect shots cos of the lighting. Hopefully th pics will be out soon cos I'm in serious need to changing my facebook dp =x

The yin and yang

2011-05-07T00:48:00.000+08:00

Went to school for meeting today. It was alright. Headed to Bugis after that to grab some arts stuff =) Was on the train with Deborah and her friend Karen. They're both really nice people and very sociable. Like genuinely sociable, not those who try to be nice to you but mind your presence sort of people =) Had Koi today too. It's been a long time since I had Koi. Afterall, the nearest non-sweet-talk bubble tea shop near my place is Gongcha.. Dinner with Ryan at Food for Thought. Lovely place =) Love the apple crumble to the max! Socials today was really fun and enjoyable =) Had so much fun dancing~ And poor Marilyn.. I guess she's not "fated" to dance with someone today =x

----------------
On another note, I'll talk about some of my pet peeves.

1. People who blame others for their incompetency.
I do hope such people will learn to see that they are at fault too and start apologising instead of pointing fingers at others. You have been blessed with the gift of sight for a reason. It irritates me that these people push the blame to others just so they can walk away scot-free and feeling oh-so-perfectly-flawless. Sometimes, no one's at fault, sometimes you're the one at fault, sometimes, it's others at fault, but let the person without any faults be the first to point his finger and push the blame on others. Remember, if you point a finger at others, you're pointing THREE fingers at yourself =)

2. People who are chronos-challenged.
Please try to be punctual or at least inform 15 minutes early if you'll be late. I've waited once for 2 hrs and I'm not willing to wait for more than 15 minutes if it's an event I don't enjoy. If I'm looking forward to it, it still doesn't warrant you the right to be extremely late. Please do not inform me of last minute changes if you already know something. If I'm involved in whatever event it is, then I have the right to know the details as soon as the finalized details are out. Please do not wait till the last second to inform me of the changes. Thank you very much. Also, I hereby declare that if you do not confirm your booking of my schedule 24 hours prior to the event, I will not be obliged to entertain your request even if I am free that day. I may sound mean but I kind of had enough of these last minute changes especially if I deliberately block out a slot which can be better used. On my part, I will also book you at least 1 day in advance.

3. People who use colourful language as punctuation marks.
I'm inclined to avoid such people cos of my stereotype. I'm prejudiced against such people as I feel that using such language all the time is degrading one's worth and considerably crude, rude and uncivilized. I understand that some people say it in a fit of anger, I understand your point and I'm not judging you for the slip of the tongue but if you keep saying it, then it's a habit, not slip of the tongue. THAT is who I'm judging. I'm not saying that those who don't use colorful language are civilized, polite and superior beings. I feel that I'm normal and perhaps, I carry myself in a more "little miss" manner (in terms of etiquette, speech and behaviour) than the others, which I'm glad I do. I don't feel it makes me superior, but I feel better about myself.

There are more pet peeves which I shall compile and blog next time. So for now, here's my top 3 pet peeves.

An editor's note: To those who are like-minded and feel equally irritated by these pet peeves, before you get annoyed at them, ask yourself, "Are those people going to be a permanent part of your life?" If the answer is no, then great, you've got your answer. Since they're not a permanent part of your life, they're just one of those passers-by in your life who will not stay and it is not worth it to be irritated and mad at them. Not worth getting wrinkles earlier than expected. If they are, I pray that there's some change for the better. It could be anything, like you being more tolerant or ignoring those pet peeves or the person changing or the power of love has blinded you from every negative aspect.

Start smiling and be joyful =) Note that I don't want people to be happy cos that's momentarily. Joy is something that is eternal =)

The past few days~

2011-05-03T20:57:00.000+08:00

Exams are over! Hurray~ I'm about three quarters away from my graduation day. I've been MIA since the reading week so to make up for it, I shall write about what has happened during the past few days.

After my exams on Friday, I went to vivo to walk ard. Kangrui was on his way home but he kindly accompanied me while I looked at stuff at Uniqlo. So glad that they have an opening sale there ^-^ Afterwhich, he had dinner at BK while I had ice cream and we chatted quite a bit. It's rather enjoyable to just relax and enjoya life after the exams.

On sat, I gave tuition in the morning, followed by a retail therapy with Tong. The sale at taka wasn't very amazing. Quite disappointed in the selection of Paul & Joe. They didn't have the powder foundation in my skin color and I didn't want the cream version. They also didn't have blusher too =/ Afterwhich, we headed down to *Scape and walked around the flea market. Tong helped me pick out a lovely printed skirt while she picked out 3-4 pieces of clothes. I didn't realise we had so much in common like our taste in fashion (we're not fans of the current blogshop trend) and we sew using the ancient machine! It's such a miracle to find someone who uses the ancient machine but unlike me, Tong can use the modern machine. I can only sew lines with the modern machine.. Afterwhich, we headed over to another flea at Orchard Hotel. Got lost as we couldn't find the location. Missed most of the flea but I was glad that there were some booths that were still open. Tong bought a skirt there while I bought 2 bottles of OPI (otherwise engaged and some red nail polish). We headed to Far East to walk where I bought a nail art stick =) It's cherry design and I'm hoping to do a nail design with them entitled "Mon Cherie" and "dedicate" it to Cherie =) Had dinner at Old Town's dunno what coffee place. Food's so-so but the coffee freeze was quite decent. Tong had some chendol soya freeze. We headed to Sephora at Ion after that. Tong wanted to get some eyeliner but she couldn't find one that doesn't smudge. After which, we parted ways and I headed to kinokuniya to buy my jap textbooks but minno no nihongo 1-2 was out of stock..

Sunday. I can't rmb what I did but I know I studied graph theory. Yea, you might think that I'm crazy but I'm trying to take graph theory next sem. Probably with Cindy and Theodore. So amazing, Cindy and I will be taking about 2 mods with Theodore next sem! We won't be so lonely anymore =)

Monday. Went out with Cindy to walk around Bugis and Plaza Sing. Overall, it was enjoyable and Cindy can really dress up well. I keep telling her to wear those clothes to school cos she prefers to wear a shirt and shorts for school but she wore a lovely chiffon top and skirt ytd!!! Haiz... Cindy, you've got the figure, must flaunt it =) The afternoon was decent to some extent...

Today. Went to pool with Cindy! She's such a pro. Out of 10 odd games that I played with her, I've only managed to clear all my balls twice. The first time, I hit the black ball into the wrong hole and the second time I cleared properly.. Hahaha~ That's the difference between a pro and a tyco girl =p Had Macs for lunch. It's been aeons since I had Macs. Just had KFC for dinner ytd though.. Went to give tuition and I'll be giving tuition on thurs and monday =)

------

On another note, I think I might need some conditioning as I feel that I'm conditioned to react in a particular manner to a particular stimulus. Probably someone needs to help me to pair that stimulus with a positive stimulus to create a conditioned response. Muahaha~ I still rmb my psych stuff =)

Countdown: 111 days

2011-04-18T22:07:00.000+08:00

It's the start of reading week. My first exam will be in a few days and I've left 2 more chapters to read (not that I remember every detail of the other 10 odd chapters). Will be busy this week and next week's gonna be exams. Sometimes I can't wait for the exams to be over so that I can relax but I know it's not possible for the next few months.

After my exams, I'll need to prepare my students for their exams, before a possible break from work.. And I've got rag to do. The temporary timeline is out and looking at it, I started crossing out the "block out" dates and realised that I'm barely left with half a weekend =x And perhaps less than a week of time for myself every month until August.. It's my decision...

There are pros and cons.. The obvious cons are that I can't travel around freely since I'm not the type who will just walk off without any responsibility and I've got less shopping time. Aww... =x

On the other hand, I do get some valuable experience which will come in handy in my working life. I feel that have been fortunate to have experiencing social loafing and compensating for the decrease in productivity. (See, evidence that I studied psychology for the past few days.. ) Wells, that kinda irritates me at times but I shall focus more positivity on it rather than being negative about it.

Countdown: 111 more days to Rag

And here's my expectations of these 111 or rather 100 days (after subtracting the exam week and such)
1. Sundays are sacred. I hope to spend it with my family and friends leisurely.
2. I will not accept anything less than 24hr notice (especially if it's not to my convenience). This includes hanging out, attending events. I like to be well-informed of things as unfortunately I am not fond of surprises.
3. I hope people will avoid social loafing and indirectly making others to compensate for their low output. This is a commitment we all agreed on at the start of last year, knowingly or not.
4. I hope to destroy my prejudice of some people. Note that it's prejudice and not discrimination... And I pray for a better outcome. It's path independent. I'm not bothered by whichever path it takes as long as the outcome is there.

And here's some things I'll like to do on the 112th day from now:
1. Get some rest
2. Go on hols! (Kinda impossible since there's school)
3. Hang out with Kia, Mel, Chel, Cait... (I'm gonna miss you all during the 111 days of absence)
4. Start planning how to squeeze in a holiday somewhere, anywhere possible..

It'll be tough for everyone during these 111 days but let's do our best =)

People I Can't Understand #1

2011-04-14T23:12:00.000+08:00

This will be the first of my new series of People I Can't Understand in which I will write about behaviours of people which I can't relate to. It may be due to different environmental or cultural upbringing or other external factors that induced the particular behaviour.

The scenario:
I was heading for the shuttle bus in school this morning when I noticed a bus trying to make a u-turn. It appeared that the u-turn was too small for the bus to do a proper turn. There was a stationary taxi behind the bus, probably about 10m away. Upon realising that the bus cannot make a proper u-turn, the bus driver attempts to reverse and hopefully exits to u-turn and head elsewhere to do his turn. As he reverses, the taxi driver sounds a long horn at him, while remaining at the same position as he was at.

My verdict:
I think it is extremely ridiculous to sound the horn. It is rather clear (at least to me) that the poor bus driver is trying to leave the u-turn area since he can't make a turn and he wants to reverse. He has begin to reverse slowly. To me, the obvious reaction (if I were driving the taxi) is to reverse. There wasn't any vehicle behind the taxi and it wasn't obstructing the road. In fact, there was a designated lane for vehicles which wanted to make a u-turn.

Also, I don't understand why the taxi driver need to sound a long horn. Not only does it irritates me (cos I do not wish for my ears to lose their auditory sensitivity), it also doesn't solve the problem at all. Will sounding the horn make the bus move faster? Will it make the bus do that impossible u-turn? Will it decrease the taxi driver's waiting time? No, no and no! There's no way you can squeeze an elephant through a pinhole, even if you lubricate it... Perhaps the taxi driver does not understand this abstract notion yet. Moreover, sounding one's horn also irritates the other driver and hence increases one's waiting time. For instance, you realise that someone wants to reverse out of a lane and switch to the next one, you reverse and cooperate, the person can leave and you have the road to yourself in less than 10 seconds. However, if you insist on remaining at your spot, the vehicle cannot exit the lane and you are stuck because you can't move forward either and you end up wasting 30 seconds before cursing the driver in front to mask your inconsiderate behaviour. Let's further assume, there's a train of 10 cars behind you who were willing to reverse but you and each car has 4 passengers. That's a good whole cumulative 13.333 mins (4 people x 10 cars x 20 seconds) wasted due to one particular person's inconsiderate behaviour.

To keep my post short, the moral of the story is to be a considerate driver.

My tips on how to be a considerate driver:
1. Do not sound the horn ridiculously. It is only meant as a short warning to others, not as a noise pollutant.
2. Put yourself in others' shoes. What would you want others to do for you if you were them? Do THAT for them.
3. Be gracious. Graciousness goes a long way.

Almost like any other day

2011-04-03T23:09:00.000+08:00

今日もうれしくなかったです。美術館へ行きました。絵は少しおもしろかったです。そして少し楽しかったです。

前年友達と約束がありました。今年のビエナーレは一緒に行きます。でも今はちょっと難しいです。
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Today's just an average day.. Ok, average is a mere euphemism for it. It's not horrible but neither was it fantastic. Went for Biennale in the afternoon. The exhibits were so-so, I guess. There were too much political and cultural influence so it wasn't my cup of tea. It seemed quite different from the last Biennale (according to how my fren described that to me). Oh wells, I guess I've a preference for certain type of artworks...

Went home after that and went out again.. Came home at ard 8+ and managed to study for a little before I'm online.. Gonna sleep soon and study tmr..

Just another ordinary day for an extraordinary girl

2011-04-02T22:42:00.000+08:00

今日茶釜のレクチャーへ行きました。でも私はあまりうれしくなかったです。お茶を飲みたかった。時間がありませんからお茶を飲みませんでした。残念ですね～

昨日ソーシャルダンスはとても楽しかったです。そしておもしろかったです。デーラスさんとディンヤンさんとベンジャミンと舞い踊りました。

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Done with my Jap practice for today =) Seems like I didn't take too long to come up with those sentences but I do hope they're grammatically correct =x Anw, today's been a pretty decent day.. Not very productive though,. Need to study more. I've only watched one webcast today and kinda slacked my way through.. Hehehe...

So Sick..

2011-03-31T22:54:00.003+08:00

My latest favourite song since I've heard it so many times during socials =) This is the salsa version of it and I think it's a really great song. Meaningful lyrics with a harmonious melody =)

So Sick - Ne Yo

Mmm mmm, yeah
Doo doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo
Oh yeah

Gotta change my answering machine
Now that I'm alone
'Cuz right now it says that we
Can't come to the phone

And I know it makes no sense
'Cuz you walked out the door
But it's the only way I hear your voice anymore

(It's ridiculous)
It's been months
And for some reason I just
(Can't get over us)
And I'm stronger than this, yeah

(Enough is enough)
No more walkin' round
With my head down
(Yeah)
I'm so over being blue
Cryin' over you

And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing
You were still here

Said I'm so sick of love songs
So sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

Gotta fix that calendar I have
That's marked July 15th
Because since there's no more you
There's no more anniversary

I'm so fed up with my thoughts of you
And your memory
And how every song reminds me
Of what used to be

That's the reason I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing
You were still here

Said I'm so sick of love songs
So sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?

(Leave me alone)
Leave me alone
(Stupid love songs)
Don't make me think about her smile
Or having my first child
I'm letting go
Turning off the radio

'Cuz I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing
She was still here

Said I'm so sick of love songs
So sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(Why can't I turn off the radio?)

Said I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishing
She was still here

Said I'm so sick of love songs
So sad and slow
Why can't I turn off the radio?
(Why can't I turn off the radio?)

And I'm so sick of love songs
So tired of tears
So done with wishin'
You were still here

Said I'm so sick of love songs
So sad and slow
So why can't I turn off the radio?
(Why can't I turn off the radio?)
Why can't I turn off the radio?

Just another so-so day

2011-03-26T23:50:00.000+08:00

Today's been alright. Was quite productive in the morning and afternoon until I started slacking.. there's 2 webcasts to watch, 2 chapters to read and 2 tutorials to do. I guess I should be able to handle them tmr or something.. Just need a lil more discipline.. Hehe..

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アーチャー、もう一度助けってください？

みんなさん、お元気ですか？

2011-03-22T00:34:00.000+08:00

ちょっと日本語を練習します。今日は月曜日。でも先週のチュトリアCを話（はな）したい。チュトリアおもしろかったです。会話を練習しました。二人は教室にロープレイをします。そして靴を着（つ）けていました。男の人の靴はとても小さいから、みんな　笑（わら）いました。森田先生はみんなに話しました。「あのう。。。ｔｙｐｉｃａｌｌｙ日本に赤ｆｏｒ女の人。そして青ｆｏｒおとこのひと。。。」とても可笑（おか）しいですね～

これは日本語で初ポーストを書きます。でも四十五分かかりました。大変ですね～

The last star left in heaven has fallen down to Earth

2011-03-17T07:57:00.000+08:00

I always believe that I've been very fortunate in the last twenty years of my life. When my peers has strict parental rules and curfew to abide by, I had none and was as free as a bird. When most people view life so negatively and feel that they must have been cursed, I felt the exact opposite. I just felt really fortunate for all the blessings I received. It is not true that I've never had any downs amidst my ups. I've had my share of the roller coaster ride too. It's not for me to compare if I had been happier or sadder than others cos I know that you can't judge a person's emotion especially when two people are grieved by something. You can't say things like the widow feels sadder than the little girl who lost her dog, afterall, she lost her lifelong partner, the love of her life. I feel that such statements are incorrect. You can't say things like the groom feels happier than the little kid who scored his first A in a test, afterall, he's finally marrying the one he loves. This too, is incorrect.

Unfortunately, life hasn't been very kind to me now. Perhaps it's the different culture that I was exposed to. The culture I was exposed to, is one where everyone takes initiative to learn. Whatever we didn't know, we'll just read more books, ask our teachers/peers or search it up on our best friend, Google. Perhaps my other peers didn't have the same culture so their mentality might differed a lot. Perhaps I just had one of the best few leaders in the world that I didn't realise how far beyond the "benchmark" they were. Perhaps my current leaders are doing what they could according to the norm of the other culture (i.e. they feel that they are already doing everything within their jobscopes). Yet, by doing what I normally do, I feel that I've already outshined them in different aspects. Somehow, I feel that I'm actually doing their job for them (according to my definition of their jobscopes). I know it doesn't feel nice to be outshined by others in the aspect one was supposed to be better at. Thus, Im trying my best to tone down and control my "glow" but it doesn't really help if they can't increase their leadership skills. There isn't much drastic disparity now, perhaps if they were at level 10, then I would probably be at level 12 or 13... figuratively speaking.. To me, there's a limit to how much I can tone down because of my efficiency. I like things to be productive and efficient so even if I attempt to shut off, there'll be a part of me in hibernation mode, ready to tackle the "unforeseen" situation.

I love my council pres and vice pres. I love the way they do things. The way they lead people. The way they can garner support from most people. I love the way they take the responsiility. I've never once heard them saying things like "I knew that would happen" or "I told you so". Instead, if they sense that some problems might arise, they'll talk to us and voice out their opinions like Cheryl's usual "you see right,..." It think it really helps for people to have leaders with such good foresight and leadership abilities. I miss Cheryl's "you see right.." Although I left council in my last year to take a good break, I know I was still remembered in many ways, in that family.

I guess in some ways, I've been really fortunate. I've still have Kia, Mel, Caitlin, Cheryl, my awesome friend, my Salsa Pteam (they're really really great. Everyone's so positive and caring) and my friends in Rag. What more could I ask for?

Some moral dilemma..

2011-03-14T21:50:00.000+08:00

Had gym with Marilyn, Licheng and Darren today =) It's quite fun and I think I really should tone up more.. Hehehe.. Licheng's like some gym instructor cos he knows a lot.. And Marilyn kinda helped me here and there too =) Such nice ppl (or rather couple to be exact =p).

Psych class was pretty interesting. We were doing moral development today and here's the dilemma. Forget the fact that it's a false dilemma and let me know what you think you should do in the situation.

The scenario:
Your spouse has been diagnosed with a rare cancer. A scientist has found a drug that may cure the cancer. He produced the drug for $1000 and he's selling it at $10000. You've tried to borrow money from your relatives and you've managed to raised $2500 which is a quarter of what is required. You've tried to negotiate with the scientist to sell it cheaply to you or to let you pay later but he refused. You decide to break into the laboratory and steal the drug. Should you do it? Why?

What would you do? Please either tag at my tagboard or somehow let me know. FB is accepted too =)

And here's what I think:
No you shouldn't do it. It's not really about legal issue to me but I feel that instead of getting the drug which may potentially save my spouse's life, I would rather pray for a miracle or spend quality time with him. To me, it's not how long one lives that makes one's life meaningful but rather the joyful moments and everything else that makes life meaningful. If he were to die the next day, then I'll do my best to spend time with him and make him joyful so that when he leaves, he'll leave with joyful memories. It isn't of much point to get him the drug and save his life if I can't ensure that he'll be joyful for the rest of his "extended lifespan".

I ♥ SHOPPING

2011-03-12T23:01:00.000+08:00

Had salsa performance for NUS Open House today and I think we totally brought the house down =) We drew in a crowd with our performance and they dispersed immediately after our performance. So glad that we've got the WOW factor =p

Went out after that to do some shopping. I've spent abt $200 today =) But it's worth it and slightly more than half of it were "sponsored" by my parents and my bro cos I hadn't have time to do shopping for my bday gift. I've bought a Carlo Rino wallet (the flowery one with brown and cream), a Guess handbag (the smaller one which I intend to use for Weds since I only bring Ariasviel to school on Weds. Btw, I've named my netbook Ariasviel cos my laptop's Sabergel and it's really confusing when I try to connect on bluetooth cos I can't rmb who's who..), an UNIQLO top (it's brown, long sleeve with my favourite cut and lovely embroidery on cotton ^-^) and a PULL and BEAR red-black checkered shorts. Yea, I know I seldom wear shorts but I always see my salsa people in shorts and they seem to pull it off quite well so I guess I'll try to dress classy in shorts and not too casual =)

And, I've made a cute handphone pouch for myself =) So proud of my sewing abilities but it's nowhere near Tong's.. Hers are just amazing and she wears her own "label".

ウサギと桜

Supernova

2011-03-08T20:29:00.000+08:00

It's been a busy week for me cos of Rag It booth and decorations. I guess, I've spent a decent amount of time helping out and doing my best for it so I'm pretty satisfied with what I've done, especially the pricelists which I love a lot =)

Just something I was thinking about recently...

If I "outshine" people in areas of their "expertise", is it my fault? I know I tend to "outshine" here and there, probably cos I've got a decent amount of leadership experience and I'm relatively resourceful (?)... But should I have tried to contain my aura or glow so that the other stars can shine too? As in try not to "take charge" here and there? Will it be my fault if I tried to suppress my "glow" and let others do the things they were supposed to be doing (even if they didn't realise it's what they should do or they do it inefficiently) and the result isn't what is expected of them?

Should we change our mindsets and expectations? Instead of the conventional, traditional mentality, should we adopt a new one that someday asteroids will shine?

A little bit of gratitude...

2011-02-27T16:09:00.000+08:00

Thanks to the following people who wished my happy bday on fb/sms:

Awesome friend
Caitlin
Char
Cheryl
Christina
Cindy
Darren K.
Eric
Kia
Lennie
Lux
Melanie
Mikel
Ningxin
Peiyi
Qiuting
Shuyun
Suyi
Teresa
Theodore
Xingcai

Special thanks to my lovely roomie and toilet mates (Kia, Cait and Baozi) for rmb-ing my bday today =) I miss the hostel days... We should come up with more wacky activities to do =)

I truly am blessed

2011-02-26T17:10:00.000+08:00

It's supposed to be a week of hols to study, chill and catch up with friends but I devoted 4 days to salsa, 1 day (instead of 1/2) to Rag, 1/2 to tuition and for the others, I was trying my best to study at home. I've finished (more or less) revising for stats on monday. I've got 3 more chapters to cover for psycho. I've got 3 chapters to cover for math but I'm one chapter down cos I started revising before the hols. I've yet to read my it stuff. I need to rewrite my psycho essay cos it's 30% of my entire grade and I feel that I've not written enough to secure me at least a b/b+ for it. I've yet to do my stats, math tuts and it lab's half done (to be completed on monday). With so many things left to do (probably cos I've got poor time management), I've finally managed to squeeze out an afternoon today to have lunch with Kia. I really wanted to go support my awesome friend at his tchoukball match cos I know it's important for him. I knew I had things to do but I was prepared for it but I decided against it.

Had lunch with Kia, Lennie and my awesome friend at Nihon Mura at the cathay today. Was just supposed to be a pleasant session to unwind and just chill and catch up since I've not talked much to Kia for the past few months. I'm truly fortunate to have her as my best friend cos it's nice to be remembered on the special day. I won't talk much abt lunch but Kia knows exactly what I felt. Don't ask me how I know, I just know she knows.

So my awesome friend left early for his match, the lennie and kia headed off to walk the dog. So I walked ard plaza sing for a while, trying to look for a gift for myself. Then I headed to OG (walked up orchard road) and saw some stuff which I had in mind but I was still considering which one to get. I headed to 313 and walked around too. It's been a really long time since my last retail therapy and I just wanted to walk around and unwind. No need to think abt anything. Not abt my tests which I'll study soon. Not abt rag. I just browsed through the articles in the shops but nothing caught my attention. Then I headed over to Wisma.

On my way there, I met two people with a free hi-5 sign so I hi-5-ed one of them. Then I met a group of girls giving free hugs. I was about to reject it but one girl came forward and hugged me. At that moment, I felt really blessed and fortunate. I felt God's love for me cos that was what I needed most while walking down orchard road alone. That's what I needed today, given how I wa feeling. She even told me to have a great day and gave me a "I've got love" sticker. As I continued, I saw Dingyan and his friend doing the same free hug thing so I hugged both of them. It just felt like a small world and I'm just very blessed. Onward to taka, I met my crez dance friend and we chatted for a short while. It's just a really great feeling to be blessed.

After which, I headed to get some flowers for tmr. I'm just gonna dedicate some flowers at the grotto in church tmr. The same flowers I've received before. The same way I've received them. Maybe I should make it a tradition though...

Random bits and pieces

2011-02-25T00:49:00.000+08:00

Had a great time at CAC+US performance and rehearsals. I love my salsa people. They're all so nice, caring and appreciative of one another. Thanks Cherie and Darren for the rose and card. Thanks Squid for the card. Thanks Lynette for the letter. They're all so lovely and it really makes everyone feel appreciated for our hardwork =) Thanks to my friends for coming to support me too ^-^

Had dance meeting ytd and settled some stuff =) Hope we'll be able to settle more stuff soon and get started on choreo =)

Today was spent doing my stats helpsheet and revision for stats test on monday. Quite ok.. Made some progress =) Then I baked in the evening cos I was so bored.. Made butter cookies which are mad-love ^-^ Then did my psycho essay (just finished but I think I'll need to add more content and references to it. Looks so weak).

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On 22 and 23rd Feb 4 years ago, that's when everything started.

Sometimes I wonder, if my memory's faulty and what I've remembered may not be what has happened. Perhaps, I remembered something else to delude myself. It's only those black and white "evidence" that prove that my "memory" is accurate to some degree.

I'm fortunate enough to have experienced the fairytale story that every girl dream of.

Unfortunately, there isn't the happy ending..

Vday and such

2011-02-15T23:07:00.000+08:00

Ytd was vday and it's pretty memorable. First vday in uni and it's somewhat different from high school. probably cos I knew more ppl there and they always give lots of candies =) hehe... So let me express my gratitude to the following ppl:

My awesome friend: for the card, bottle and cake. I've not eaten that yet.. Cos my mom just realised it's meant for my breakfast today after she made breakfast.. so it'll be tmr's breakfast.

Aesthetic comm: for the lovely card. Thanks for taking the initiative and time to do something for vday. I really appreciate it =) Kudos to you ppl~

Rag guys: Hey, Thanks for the rose =) It's really sweet of you guys to let the girls feel special on this day =)

Grandmaster Daelus: Thanks for the balloon~ It's still floating in my room ^-^ So cool~ I thought it'll have been deflated by now but it amazes me..

Darren: Thanks for the hershey ^-^ yummy~

Marilyn and Li(4)Cheng(2): Cos licheng says we're pronouncing his name wrongly so I must emphasize it =p Thanks for the cake~ So pretty and cute ^-^ Yummy too~ =p

Actually I wasn't expecting much from vday but I guess some ppl do put in the effort to brighten up others' day =) Thanks guys and gals~

Anw, I've salsa-ed for 5 hrs ytd.. So tiring that I kinda conked out a while after I reached home. Also, I'm just super fortunate ^-^ I didn't have psycho lecture ytd cos the lecturer cancelled it in lieu of vday =) How sweet of him/her =) So I managed to have a proper dinner. And I had proper lunch too cos Dingyan was having prac with me in the morning and he had lunch with me.. Else I would have survived on lecture food =p hehehe..

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Someday, my nerve impulses to certain memories will decrease and the memories will fade..
Someday, my body won't remember what my brain can't remember..
Someday, the dates won't be as vivid as before..
Someday, you'll find your joy.. and..
So will I..

This day had been a memorable day for me 3 years ago.. In future, it might just be another date..

A day's worth..

2011-02-10T20:44:00.000+08:00

Phew, it's been a long week after the CNY... Didn't really rest much for CNY cos I spent two days visiting and such, half a day of slacking, half a day of work and a day of hanging out =) It's been pretty hectic but I'm glad that at least I've enjoyed myself over the 4 day break =) I'm so looking forward to the next break when I can properly summarize my psycho notes (I'm 3 chapters behind time, at least.. another one next week =/). Plus look through the solutions to the tutorials... Haiz.. I think I really need to make a list of things to do and finish them before the hols.. I just rmbed to sign up for research participation.. oh no.. I need to get 12 points.. I've only got 2 points worth to do next week =/ I'm pretty screwed cos I totally forgot about it =/ Liwei's like almost done with her RP already.. and i think Wing has finished half of it =/ I've only got March to finish everything else cos April's gonna be a busy month for me.. Jia you to myself...

I'll be busy these few days too.. Here's how my current schedule looks like:
Mon: Salsa till 10
Tues: Tuition till 5 or 530
Wed: Salsa till 10
Thurs: My "free" day
Fri: Tuition till 630
Sat: salsa in the morning for now (I do hope we'll reduce the practices after the performance) and part-time waiting this sat only
Sun: My other "free" day

I've also have a schedule to do my homework. Ma asg is submitted every fortnight, ma and st tuts are weekly, it lab's weekly, psycho doesn't have tut but jap has a few tuts.. OH! I just rmbed to do my jap tut. I forgot abt the hw book =/ I did my student packet but not my hw book =/ Sighs.. Probably gonna get marks deducted for it =/ I ought to do everything in advance so I don't have to worry and I can just submit.. So basically, thurs and fri are for doing my st and ma tutorials + asg.. mon and tues are for it lab =x like between whatever free time I can squeeze out..

I'm such a busy person... Then again, I most probably have bad time management =/

My salsa friends are R(A)

2011-01-31T23:59:00.000+08:00

My salsa friends are Really Awesome!

School's been alright these days. Pretty much enjoyed myself at salsa =) Cos there's those nice and fun people there. Probably it's cos that we're a small group, that's why we're pretty closely knitted together =) It's pretty amazing what they do for each other and can joke about anything under the sun like how lin tong's T-Rex now cos she invented the T-Rex shimmy.. And Sherry just said something about my pineapple tarts...

Sherry: Hahaha~ Pinenipple tarts.. (She's kinda high now cos she didn't sleep much last night)

Marilyn and Licheng made us some chocolatey dessert thingy.. Let me try them now =) It's super nice ^-^ chocolated coated biscuits with a bit of nuts in them =) Yum Yum~~

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On another note...

I had a rather disturbing dream last night and I'm hoping that it's not some premonition or whatsoever.. I dreamt that my best friend came up to me and told me that she had cancer =/ it's kinda upseting me cos she's a really nice friend though we seldom talk now..

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And another note...

I'm not the only one "suffering".. My good friend is also "suffering" for the same reason. Yet sometimes I wonder, was it a test for me to see if I could keep my promise? Or was it fate?

Angsty again =/

2011-01-27T21:15:00.000+08:00

I will try my best to be more positive. However, I'm just pretty negative these days.

I don't understand why people talk bad about others.
To me, I feel that other's perspectives should not be shaped by what a particular person/group of people say, whether it's negative or positive. One's emotions can be biased due to various factors like perhaps it was one of those bad hair days and that innocent person just happened to do something not pleasant to you. This incident is then regarded as a black mark in that person's MO file in your memory for life. I think it's worse if one keeps relaying such negative opinion about others. Perhaps you just feel really offended by what that person has done. Perhaps you just cannot let it go but truthfully, if you're the type of person who cannot let go, then I think you're a very sad person indeed. What I foresee (I'm no psychic though) in your life is that bright sunshine world being engulfed in all these "grudges"and "misunderstandings".

I don't understand the need to gossip aloud or make any loud noises unnecessarily.
To me, I feel that gossips are inevitable. Especially if you're extremely curious about the person or if you've been offended by someone. However, this does not warrant you the right to gossip aloud, I feel. Instead, I feel that gossips should be little secret thingy that are kept within the circle so it's meant to be something low profile and not for the whole wide world to know. Moreover, I'm not a fan of loud noises, whether is it heavy metal or people shouting or just talking extremely loudly. I know I can't blame you if you just have strong vocal cords but I would greatly appreciate my world of minimal noise. I don't like loud noises in the morning. Phones ringing just when I awake turns me off greatly. I prefer the more zen sort of environment. I don't need absolute silence or what. But I don't need loud noises. Perhaps, it's cos I'm a musician and loud noises will damage my hearing ability. My hearing ability may not be the best but I think it's pretty decent enough for me, to pick out what a person is saying softly amidst loud chatterings/shoutings/screaming. Then again, that's cos I can read-lip to some extent.

I don't understand why people always push the blame on others.
Perhaps I'm influenced by the japanese culture in which people tend to be more humble and taking the blame upon themselves (though I'm not implying that those are my qualities). But I don't see why should others, and only others be faulted, even though you could possibly be at fault. True enough, there are no absolute right or wrong, but what I strongly feel is that, before you push the blame on anyone, ask yourself which part of the almighty you have no fault? Before you insist on seeing things from your, and only your perspective, put yourself in others' shoes. What do they feel? Stop being negative and say things like "Why should I care about how they feel when they don't care about how I feel?" Instead, try to understand others better. Be more gentle and caring towards others. The world does not revolve around you alone. You're not the last man standing on this Earth so please show some consideration to your fellow homo sapiens.

If not for the fact that I dislike the feeling of being lonely, I would have been pretty much self-sufficient and I mean it.
I know that I'm pretty resourceful. I know where to get things or if I don't know, I know that google's my friend. I know that I'm very detailed if I want to be. I know that I don't require much manpower because whatever I think of, I'll make sure it's feasible, I know how to do it and I can at least do it alone. I know we're supposed to help one another but I won't selfishly "force" anyone to help me even if I can do that. I'm not asking for others to be as detailed as me or as resourceful as me but just spare a thought for others. Else it'll be a viscious cycle - you bear a grudge against someone, then you take revenge, the person also takes revenge, and you take revenge.. This will go to no end.

Lastly, I'll just end off with:
Please start taking iniatives to do something deemed positive. Taking the initiative to start a revenge or another gossip session isn't what I meant by that statement. Rather, it's to take iniative to do some good for someone/some people or for mankind.

Potato sticks~

2011-01-25T21:10:00.000+08:00

Ta-dah! =) I'm super happy cos Cindy gave me this pack of potato sticks which her bf's dad got in Japan~ It's like super tasty and cripsy ^-^ Ate it during stats lecture cos I didn't have anytime for lunch.. 5 hr straight today.. But tmr will be worst.. 7 hour straight, followed by thursday's 6 hr straight.. =x

Salsa~

2011-01-24T23:48:00.000+08:00

Tutorial has officially started this week. Had math lecture today.. Was ok until he decided to intro a little of partial derivatives of multivariable calculus.. Then I lost focus and started doing my IT lab assignment which I'm pleased to have completed before class ended ^-^ Hurray~ Now I have one less assignment to do.

After which, Cindy and I crashed stats and math tutorials. Stats was ok, quite manageable but I won't mind going for my original timeslot.. For math, however, I feel that maybe I should go for my original timeslot which is why I'll be in school very early tmr =/ I'll just travel back and forth between faculties on tues and thurs.. Like science-arts-science and arts-science-arts. Wed's not really counted cos it's business-arts/science-business.. So it's not that far.. minus the science part.. Anyway, I felt that I didn't learn much from today's math tutorial so I'm going again tmr.. During my actual tutorial slot and I'll see how.. If it still does me no good then I might as well not go for tutorials and save my travelling between faculties..

Went to AS7 after tutorials to chope a space for salsa cos we didn't manage to book the studio for these two mondays.. Was there with Squid... Chatted a bit and tried to do a bit of psycho essay but I need my text book to do the skeletal structure of my essay before I attempt to beef it up with references from reputable and reliable sources.. Then Lin Tong came shortly after Squid left for his lab session. Chatted a while with her before heaing back to science to meet Wing for dinner and psycho lecture.

Had pseudo dinner with Wing, Mel, Mel's friend Victor (?) and Xinying =) Okok.. I had cheese fries that are really filling.. I didn't manage to finish it before lectures so I was eating in lecture.. So during the first 30 mins, I was munching on cheese fries.. And in the next 30 mins, I was slipping in and out of consciousness.. And I was more awake for the perception part which was the last 30 mins of the lecture. Then made my way back to AS7 for salsa =)

Rehearsed the steps and refined a bit of steps here and there. I think I have lots of fun dancing.. Plus, it's my only form of exercise, minus the rare walks from science to arts/computin/business cos I procrastinate too much to run.. I'll swim as and when I like, which isn't very often.. So I need something to keep fit and lost the calories I've gained while sharing the Vermonster with the Salsa people on Sat.. =x

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Taylor Swift once said: I haven't had that one great love, which is good. I don't want that to be in the past -- I want it to be in the future.

I wonder if that's the same for me..

Salsa is LOVE

2011-01-22T23:17:00.000+08:00

Had salsa practice this morning.. I realised I've not had a decent post dedicated to my salsa people so I'm gonna introduce them properly..

For the girls, we have:
Cherie
Lin Tong (TRex)
Lynette
Marilyn
Patricia
Sherry

For the guys, we have:
Benjamin Neo
Chun Xiong
Daelus
Darren
Ding Yan
Li Cheng
Jie Xiang
"Squid" Zhu Tong

So we had practice this morning.. Did basics, turns and body isolations for warm ups before practising the super fast move from last lesson. It's something like "1 2 lunge and turn and duck.. followed by a CBL turn and two diet cokes with turn.. followed by a side break, two free spins and some shines.." It's pretty complicated when you do it really fast cos everything seems to blur by.. Hehe.. Nonetheless, it was very fun and enjoyable.

After prac, we (Marilyn, Cherie, Ding Yan, Ben Neo, Squid, Li Cheng, Daelus and Jie Xiang) went to watch Burlesque! Squid and Li Cheng drove us to Cathay! =) Kudos to guys who can drive ^-^ Had lunch at nihon mura.. Had some sushi and such ^-^

Burlesque's a great dance movie. I think it's really cool how the dancers hit all the accents and the facial expressions and such were really great. Some pointers to take note of during practices ^-^

After which, we (minus Jie Xiang) went to Ben&Jerry's for ice cream and we conquered the Vermonster ^-^ Hehehe.. Ate quite a bit of ice cream but I'm glad I got to eat my favourite flavour: Strawberry Cheesecake =)

I think I had a great time today, bonding with the salsa people ^-^ They're really fun people to be with and if you're interested to learn salsa, I think they're starting new beginner classes, so please sign up for them =)

Finally,
A big THANK YOU to the person who made this day possible for me =)

A little bit of everything

2011-01-21T23:48:00.000+08:00

School's been a bit busy. Ok, actually it's just my poor time management cos I started watching gokusen... I've got half and a quarter tutorial that's undone.. and needs to be completed by next week (mon/tues).. An assignment to submit next next week, I think.. I thought we had to write 2 essays for psycho but I misread the question so I only need to do one =) Other than those, there's gonna be the weekly IT lab assignments.. sighs.. Need to figure out how to do it fast and accurately..

I also need to start reading my calc text so that I know what the vectors thingy is about. I think I only know it superficially.. Like if you give me numbers, I more or less can give you the answers but if you use variables.. That's where ther problem lies. I need to summarize chapter 4 and 5 of my psycho text. Procrastinated too much this week that my chapter 4 summary is like half done.. 20 more pages to go =/

Hmmm.. I'm thinking of baking pineapple tarts on Tues, but I wonder if I have the time to do so =/ My next weekend's pretty packed too. Oh rights.. I almost forgot to submit a form thingy =/ I hope I rmb tmr cos that's the deadline =x

Ok, I need to do a realistic work plan so that I can follow the plan and stick to it =/

Tutorials =/

2011-01-18T09:21:00.000+08:00

Sighs.. I wasn't fortunate enough to get my preferred tutorial slots so now I end up with horribly limited choices cos most of the left over slots clash with my lectures and I'll have to see how. The ones I can choose, start at horrible timing and one of them even clash with my other tutorials =.= I think I might have to appeal for some tutorials or possibly make a swap with my current ones..

Anyway, I think I might be a bit busy with my current schedule cos I'm taking 5 mods with different subject code, i.e. a lot of running about school, especially for tutorials =/ so I might not update my blog frequently, but I'll continue to do so.

Let's do our best! =)

Little Miss Fortunate

2011-01-10T22:54:00.000+08:00

I think by some alignment of Pisces' ruling planets Jupiter and Neptune, I was pretty fortunate today =) I headed to school for the first lesson of the semester and also the first lesson of the year.. Went to CBLC to learn how to print my lecture notes. Met Vanessa there so it wasn't too bad and she helped me with it. Met Wen Hui and Victoria there too, so they were helping me with printing of notes. Had lunch with Cindy after we tried searching the science co-op for arts books to no avail. Then we went for our first lecture. The lecturer had a different accent, not local, but not much of a hard to understand accent. The lesson was pretty enjoyable, just a quick recap of vectors (reminds me of Year 4). After which, I headed to CR to pass Junwei chalet money before heading to arts with Cindy to get our books =) She bought her geog book and I've got my super thick psycho book =) Headed back to science to file RAG file before stoning in the canteen, reading my psycho book (I've only read like 10 pages). Had psycho.. Thought I was the only one there until I saw some familar faces like Eric, Hussein and Calsey (I hope I spelt your name right). So it wasn't that intimidating =)

Salsa at night was fun =) But I'm not wearing my dress for salsa again, cos it's too flowly and it keeps flying up everytime I do turns =x Which is pretty annoying.. Celebrated Ben Neo's birthday at salsa =) After salsa, I got a ride home from Ding Yan! =) Super lucky ^-^ But we took a huge detour cos we went up the flyover at pasir panjang and ended up near keppel road. Point to note: Never take flyovers unless you're sure of where to stop.

---------------
On another note, Jack just invited me to watch the OCS commission thingy on sat. However, I'll be at salsa and somewhere else on sat =x So to all the OCS guy/s who are reading my post:

CONGRATS on your commission!
Sorry, but I won't be there physically to support you =x
Nonetheless, I hope you'll be able to enjoy yourselves more in NS~
1 more year to go...

Girls, don't miss the sales =) Guys, uhh.. I don't care =p

2011-01-03T23:01:00.000+08:00

Hey Girls, just came across a blog post saying that Plaza Sing's having a body shop. I think it's pretty reliable and if you're heading there, I do hope it's a good buy for you all. Cos I simply love body shop sales where the little bottles are like 4 for $10 or 3 for $12 and the huge bottles of shower gel are at $5 =) So hurry and get them if you need stuff from body shop, else just take a look and be influenced to get something =)

Super efficient

2011-01-02T23:19:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling super efficient tonight, so Christina and I have settled all the meeting minutes stuff. They're all compiled, uploaded and nicely printed out. Just need the signature on them tmr. Plus, we've also uploaded the sem 2 timetable template well before we compile the timetable cos last sem we didn't and we had all sorts of timetable which took a longer time to compile. Hurray for our efficiency =)

Anw, earlier today, Bernadette and Grace said "生日快乐" to Sister instead of "新年快乐" . It was kinda epic and we started laughing~ Hahaha~ Then we had tea before going to watsons to buy stuff. I've bought a box of My Beauty Diary masks =) Just tried them on and fell asleep with the mask on for abt 30 mins. Thankfully.. I thought I would sleep till the next day..

Then I went to school for salsa shoot. The salsa people were very different from the latinus people cos they were so uniform while we were pretty much in every color =p Had a 2 hr shoot and then went to Clementi to develop photos. After waiting for about 15 minutes for the guy in front of me to upload 860 photos (he was at 400+ by the time I started queueing), he spent another 10 minutes selecting only 11 photos to develop o.O I was like "there's something called a computer to select whichever photos you want and put them into a thumbdrive or something" in my mind.. At least I can collect my photos tmr which I'm pretty much looking forward too cos I sent my 2011 calendar for printing. Yes, I don't have a calendar now until the printing's done... It's actually 4R photos that's going into my IKEA flippy album. Can't wait to see it. It's gonna be so great, I just know it =)

Dance, baby, dance ♥

2010-12-30T19:19:00.000+08:00

I went for salsa yesterday. Woah... There was quite a bit to catch up since I missed the previous few sessions. I think I can more or less remember the second set of moves.. However, the third set of moves seem more challenging. It's like lots of turns here and there plus a diet coke =x Gel doesn't like diet coke. It's those turning moves where the girl moves in a line and the guy seemingly rotate her abt himself. Quite complicated and sometimes I get the foot steps wrong =/ I'm going for socials later and hopefully I can get the steps right..

I must not run on auto-pilot. I must not run on auto-pilot. I must not run on auto-pilot =/

------------
On another note:
I actually wonder if there's anyone I really really hate and I realised that as much as it is an oxymoron, I don't actually hate anyone. In fact, the least is a neutral relationship although I may dislike their actions. Which leads me back to the past few years when I wasn't exactly tolerant of someone who coincidentally had a very firm mindset. I could have been more tolerant but I didn't (human nature and all). Yet, I may be placed in a similar situation now but this time I'm going to be tolerant. Somehow... I'm going to list down all the positive traits and focus on those positive traits instead of their negative traits which will just make me more irritated and emit more negative chi... I'm going to maintain my aura which according to someone, is the ability to be nice to everyone and everyone's nice to me too =)

Midnight angst cos I can't sleep

2010-12-28T02:03:00.000+08:00

Ok, I'm a little irritated tonight cos it's past midnight and I'm too wide awake. Why? Cos I attended a really long meeting which was both mentally and physically too draining for me to go for salsa at night as I ended up napping for 4 hrs after the meeting. I'm sorry but I get tired easily, which is why I cannot last a day of mentally and physically strenuous activities, for example, going out from morning until night.

So while I'm irritated and angsty, I'll just voice out everything which isn't shooting anyone at all. If you feel strongly offended by what I've said, I'm sorry, you just coincidentally happened to be in the same situation as I am. I think it might be useful for you to use this information from me as a guideline for like-minded people so that you'll avoid irritating them. Likewise, you can tag me or what with your version so I can use it as a guideline for like-minded people so that I can avoid irritating others too =)

Let's start with my working ethics. I like to be task-oriented, punctual, effective and productive. I like things to be done on time, in time and within to shortest possible time. I like people and everything to be punctual as I like to have a proper schedule and keep to it. I like to have a plan of what I want and get people to follow it if it's effective and productive. I like to do most things by myself unless I'm certain I get the same results if others are doing.

You could say I don't trust others much, I won't deny it cos I've experienced various times when things don't go according to plan and I have to spend more time, money and effort getting the same things done. It is annoying for me to put in more of everything for the same results. I dislike tardiness. Once or twice with valid reasons is acceptable. I dislike waiting for people for more than hours without having proper explanation or even a simple sms about the when the person is expected to arrive. I dislike multiple digressions during important meetings. Perhaps a short digression of a few seconds is good to help maintain a relax environment but I feel that constant digression will decrease the productivity rate. I feel that if there should be major digressions, then a meeting is not a meeting but a discussion.

I like it when others show respect to everything and everyone. However, I don't expect everyone to be demure or gentle or polite. I understand others' need for colorful languages but I don't see the need for using it to start or end every sentence. I think that colorful language is not a punctuation mark. Moreover, I've survived 19 years with probably just one or two "defacation" (politely exchanged for its more negative and less polite counterpart) and nothing else. So I don't see why people cannot survive without using such words for a day (minus the sleeping time unless you use it in your dreams). It annoys me as I feel that using such words degrades oneself. I am not imposing my mentality on others, but merely sharing my opinion. Assuming that there's a person who constantly uses colorful language wants to get married, I don't know if his/her in-laws will be extremely understanding and accomodating. If he/she intends to remain single, then I don't know if his/her frens will be able to tolerate it. Then again, if they're friends, they'll be more tolerate else they won't be friends in the first place, so let's scrap that.

I like to keep work and personal life separate. Work is work. Personal life is personal life. Once in a while, I don't mind if others mix both as in due to prior relations with various people in the working environment. Nor do I mind if something tragic or joyful has happened and the person is unable to control his/her emotions. I believe in sharing sorrows with others as they'll be halved and joy so that they'll be doubled. However, there is also a time and place for everything. If something should not be done at a certain time and place, then it should not. To me, it's very clear cut, like black and white. No grey area.

I don't expect others to take responsibility for everything, and neither do others expect me to take responsibility for everything. However, I do have a tendency to take responsibility for everything that goes wrong because I feel that there's something I could have done better. I don't think that anyone will be at entirely at fault though, even if it appears to be more strongly related to one person than others. I feel that no one should be pushing any blame when things go wrong or wash their hands clean of the situation as the fault does not lie only in one person. Even if you say "I told you so", ask yourself, since you already knew things would turn out this way, have you thought of a back up plan to salvage the situation suppose it's according to your predictions. If you're pointing your finger at others, ask yourself, in what way have you not contributed to that situation. I feel that even the slightest connection does not acquit one from the situation. No doubt, some people may annoy me now and then, I'm also at fault as I could have been more tolerant and patient with them. I'm not attempting to be a Mother Teresa or some saintly person. I'm myself and these are my beliefs. If you intend to work with me, then I guess these are the essentials you'll need to know. I can accomodate and compromise and perhaps give in entirely to you sometimes. But I will not give in to others all the time, especially if I think something better could be done.

End of my midnight angst. Gosh, look at the time. Ok, I'm happy now and I'm getting sleepy =)

2010-12-24T00:14:00.000+08:00

It's gonna be Christmas soon. I've been going out for the past few days.

Mon: Went to JB with family =)
Tues: Watch Nic's performance with Kia, awesome friend and her "awesome friend"
Wed: Alumni gathering
Thurs: Rag gathering (but I managed to bake in the morning! and Thanks to Kang Rui, Shane, Christina, Bao Hui and the rest for saying my potato salad's really delicious ^-^)

Christmas log cake =) Guess whose? =p

My Best-est Christmas Present Ever~~ (Sorry, the previous one has been replaced =p)

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And here's my bimbo moment:
I was waiting for the bus at a bus stop with my awesome friend. After a long while, we saw a bus and flagged it. To our surprise, the bus driver didn't stop for us but rather, he gave us this really weird look. And that was when we realised we weren't at the bus stop but rather, we were at a bus stop look-a-like shelter.

Ok, go ahead and laugh at my blonde moment..

My little circle - By Angela Evangeline Kwan

2010-12-14T00:30:00.000+08:00

I have this little circle,
In which I'm at the centre.
I let my close friends in
So about me they'll know better.
Yet one close friend came in,
Or rather used-to-be,
Took a piece of my heart and
Showed it for the world to see.
Imagine my disappointment
and betrayal by this friend.
It feels as though I've been
Stabbed by my own hand.
The cruel reality of this world
and my simplicity don't match.
Yet the trauma of betrayal
In my mind has been etched.

---- To all my close friends, thank you for trusting me ----

The Language of LOVE ♥

2010-12-11T18:15:00.000+08:00

I was reading Yvonne's blog and I chanced upon this post which I thought was interesting. She did a quiz for the language of love. Basically, there are 5 languages of love: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch. The highest score indicates your primary love language (the highest score is 12). The lower scores indicate those languages you seldom use to communicate love and which probably don’t affect you very much on an emotional level.

You can try out the quiz: click me! =)

It may not be very accurate but i think it provides you with some insights of how you express your love for others and how you would feel loved, through words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, services or physical touch.

While you're at the site, you might want to try out the quiz for five language of apology as well =) It has another 5 languages: expressing regret, accepting responsibility, making restituition, genuinely repenting and requesting apology. The max is 20 which indicates your primary apology language.

Guys, stop it.. I'm serious.

2010-12-10T23:56:00.002+08:00

To the guy/s I'm arrowing in this post:

STOP IT!

Stop prying for my information from Kia. You shouldn't even try to find out about me from her even though she's my best friend (Kia: I know I've not been a very good best friend to her but yes, she's my best friend). I've always been wondering how guy/s roughly know what I feel like or "want" and then I realised you have gotten this information from Kia. So STOP USING HER for such purposes. Kia is Kia and she's my best friend. She knows about me but that doesn't mean you should be using her to get information about me. It's not very nice to her. I know she's very kind and always willing to help others but guy/s, but just stop using her.

I don't care how many guy/s I'm slamming in this post and before you ask me if I've thought about your feelings before blogging this, ask yourself if you've thought about Kia's feelings. Ignorance is not bliss (this applies to me as well).

Overdue pics and such

2010-12-07T22:46:00.000+08:00

Went out with Kia in the morning to watch Harry Potter =) It's really really good! I can't wait to watch part 2 next July =) But the movie's really long too.. Cos halfway through, I kinda needed the ladies but I didn't want to walk out cos it'll disturb the two couples near the aisles (cos Kia and I took the middle seats). Then we headed to Bugis to walk around for a while, I got my KOI ^-^ before meeting up with Junwei, before meeting up with the rest of the OG. Had OG outing today but it's not fair.. WHY WAS I THE ONLY FEMALE PRESENT? =/ Play daytona (but I didn't win this time cos I crashed into the wall twice..), then bowling.. The results are as shown =p Only Koon Tong, Chi Xiong, Wen Hui and I played while Junwei watched. Theodore and Jie Kai were kinda mia throughout the bowling session.

Muahahaha~ You can probably tell who's who =p But it didn't feel that good to suan the guys cos they didn't put in effort =/

Dinner at Yoshinoya before heading home...
----------------
And this was ytd.. We had a 6 hr long meeting (including 1 hr lunch)... Gosh.. Poor Christina and I... We were basically human chat loggers.. Trying to note down and summarize everything everyone say...

To 31Rag: Gel loves you all =)

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Junwei and I had sinful chocolate desserts at Max Brenner Chocolate Bar at Esplanade on 27th Nov.. It's really good but I felt cheated of my chocolate lava cake.. It was supposed to be a whole cake with liquid chocolate inside.. Mine was a three tier cake with the middle tier having a hole in the centre for the liquid chocolate filling.. =/

Play like a child~

2010-12-03T00:17:00.000+08:00

I've had lots of fun today =) Went out with my awesome fren. My awesome fren is just too awesome! We headed to Sentosa in a bid to try catch the buskers again, amidst the slight drizzle. Since it was still drizzling when we arrived at 4-ish, we decided to visit the underwater world~ I've not been there since I was 8 (that's when my cousin's then potential in-laws came to visit singapore. Now it's in-laws...). So we bought the tics and to our surprise there's some funny promotion so the tickets cost $14.60 instead of the usual $22.90 =) And we managed to watch the ink dolphins performance too, though we were kinda late =p

The ticket =)

Decorater crab. It's the thing with lots of funny pebbles..

Crab~

Nautillus. Was explaining to my awesome fren abt the golden ratio thingy.. =x

Jellyfish =)

We managed to watch one busker performance since the rain stopped for a lil bit but it started to pour again.. Thus, we didn't manage to watch the pyrotech performance which was the one performance we went there to watch.. Walked ard merlion walk to beach station and then along the beach too. It's really nice, minus the drizzle =x

----------------------

On another note:

"I'm much happier to know that someone's willing to wait for me for three trimesters than knowing someone has waited for me for three years."

All summarised in a short post =p

2010-12-01T01:19:00.000+08:00

Exams are over.. Hope I'll do well.. The results will be out before Christmas so I'm gonna enjoy myself till then =p I've still not looked at the model answers of my fund exam paper yet.. Apparently it was out in the afternoon after we took the test in the morning o.O Talk about high efficiency...

Anw, I've been going out lately.. With Mel and my awesome fren cos Mel's exams ended on the same day as me ^-^

Fri: Went out to get stuff with Mel before going for church stuff with Ron.
Sat: Went for concert with awesome fren and had supper at Max Brenner Chocolate Bar. Sinful but delightful =)
Sun: Church stuff and went out with Mel, Shawn and Kenneth to celebrate Shawn's bday at a Korean steamboat buffet (somewhere near bugis)
Mon: Lunch and shopping with Mom
Tues: Watched Easy A with Mel and had lunch at Sushi Tei. Love the desserts there =) Shopped ard too~ Before going to Sentosa with awesome fren to watch Busker's Festival. It's so cool and amazing, we might just head there again. Then headed down to Orchard to see the christmas decor. Ion has lovely musical-inspired decorations =) hehehe.. Love those treble clef, semi-quavers and demi-semi-quavers inspired snowflakes =)

Plans for the up-coming weeks:
Wed: Rag + salsa at night
Thurs: Rag
Fri: heading to m'sia with family
Sat: Lunch with Lux at Holland V then out with awesome fren (?)
Sun: Church (sorry Ron, I don't think I can go to your church on sun =x)

My new eyecandies =)

2010-11-20T22:30:00.000+08:00

In addition to these eyecandies,

Kim Jeong Hoon

Li Wei

Here are my new eyecandies, after I watch jap drama Hana Yori Dango and Hana Kimi =)

Yu Shirota (He's mixed!! Super cute ^-^ At first glance, I thought he was some FF character =p)

Super shuai!!!

Oguri Shun as Hanazawa Rui in Hana Yori Dango. Super cute too =)

This is him in Hana Kimi as Sano Izumi =)

Jang Geuk Suk =) Initially I thought his hairstyle was super funny in He's Beautiful but after I watched it, I grew to like it =) Another eyecandy~~

Nicknames

2010-11-20T00:25:00.000+08:00

I'm on a blogging roll.. So here's another post cos I doubt I'll be blogging anytime soon as I'm supposed to be preparing for my exams next week.

I've been using lots of nicknames in my posts and in real life so here's a post to talk about the nicknames and who they stand for. Sorry for being so cryptic =p

Awesome friend: my close friend who loves using "AWESOME"
Bao: Cheryl. Cos someone called her Cai Bao Zi once in high school so we started calling her Bao too =)
Ben: unless otherwise stated (they are all tagged with surnames so they refer specifically to Benjamins like Ben Foo), it refers to Benjamin
Cait: Caitlin
Char: Charmaine
Cheng: Wei Cheng
Cher: Chermaine
Chua: my beloved junior, Yvonne/Yu Jia (I still remember how Bao used to stare at the duty list and wonder why she was the only one on duty as it wrote "Cheryl Chua" (it's actually her and my junior..))
Ding: Ding Qiao
Gu: Yang Long
Ha: Phuong Ha
Joo Koon: Hahaha~ that's what I called Koon Tong initially cos I only rmb-ed the seniors calling him that..
Kia: short for my bestie Cassandra KIAra Ng
Lux: Luxin
Mao: Maehwee
Mel: Melanie (aka Melanie Cheah/Lim *hopes ahem won't come after me..*)
Nee: Renee
Nes: Vanessa
Prawnsticks: Kia came up with this for Caleb. Cos he's Caleb Yip and if you read it fast it sounds like Calbee =p
Rad/Raddy: Conrad
Ron-nee (pronounced as Renee): Aaron + Renee
Ron: Aaron
Shell: Michelle
Sylar: Kenneth. My angel from high school who folds origami elephants which are difficult to put back =x)
Theo: Theodore
Wing: Wei Ying

I like to shorten my friend's name.. Easier to call one syllable and besides, sometimes I like to use repetition so it's like "kiakia" and "melmel". Hope I didn't miss out anyone =x

And here's a list of mine collected since forever.

Ange/Angie: used by my cousins
Angeline/Angelina/Angelia/Angel: used by people who can't rmb my name (when I was still an intern, a staff always call me by every possible variation of Angela except Angela =x)
Chibi-Chibi: used by cheng
Evangeline: rarely used by people cos it's too long for a nickname (btw, that's my confirmation name, aka my middle name)
Gel: AnGELa. used by most people. Even Cindy has started calling me that.. Hahaha~
Lala: originally used by ron.. until ding decided to follow suit..
Madison: used by another group of people who can't rmb my name but rmbs my email address =.=
Princess: used by someone
Saber: used by my mortal
Strawberry: used by my awesome friend
Tappy: used by my cheer seniors cos I loved to eat tapioca chips =)

And if you're a guy, DON'T you dare call me the following (think of something else besides these cos it gives me goosebumps..):

Baby
Darling
Dear
Honey

Cos I will:

Shoot you
Break all ties with you
Smack you
Roll my eyes at you
All of the above

Just blogging while waiting for my bro to get out of the shower..

2010-11-19T23:53:00.000+08:00

I used to feel less inferior than my friends who are overseas or studying on some kind of scholarship cos they always seem so great, going to the top schools or getting the most prestigious scholarships. But I'm glad I'm not on any scholarship cos I would feel restrained and bounded, which isn't like me as I live with lots of freedom. I somewhat have more freedom than most of my peers since young so this isn't something I want to give up. At least not until I've found someone suitable for me and I intend to settle down.. =p

I'm glad that I decided to stay in NUS cos I've met lots of great people there. Like my OG, salsa people, my primary school friends.. Besides, I doubt I would have been able to cope with more than a major for now =p I'll see how things go before deciding my minor/s or second major..

I'm glad that I've inherited some of my mom's genes.. Perhaps cooking is in the genes and I feel fortunate to be able to cook something more than instant noodles and fry eggs. Also, I think that the love to travel is also in her genes =p I kinda think I've travelled to more places than my dad (just like my mom.. hmm.. I do hope I don't end up travelling all over the world before settling down =x) I'm really looking forward to stay with my cousin in kyoto next dec cos she'll be there for a couple of months (that is if I have the financial means to go on my own.. I don't want to use my parent's money to go overseas unless it's school stuff or family vacation). So while I save up for kyoto, all the other countries will have to wait =p I'll probably need more than 10 years to visit all these places unless I'm sponsored on a round-the-world trip =) *big grin*

List of places to visit (in alphabetical order)

Australia (I wanna visit other parts of Australia ^-^)
Austria (Love the Mozart balls, though they ALL had marzipan which wasn't that bad afterall. Love this small cafe where Char, Shell, Wing and I ate last year.. The service was good and it's relatively cheap!!)
Canada (I wanna see maple leaves)
France (Eiffel tower~~)
Italy (Venice and gondolas~ and pasta~)
Japan (I've never been there before.. Somehow I think I'm influenced by japanese culture. Perhaps in the grooming aspect?)
Korea (Kiakia, let's go again and have more fun in Everland and Lotte World!! and skiing too!)
New Zealand (Joce, I'll head over there again sometime ^-^)
Taiwan (I wanna visit the night market)
UK (Is the harry potter theme park open yet?)

Wells, as you can see most of the places are either in Asia, Oceania or Europe =) Wells, I'm keen to travel overseas.. But these are some of the places that have priority over the rest.. like China... cos I've been to quite a few parts of China already. When I was little, I used to go there every 6 months (ard p4 to erms.. sec 2?) The food there is cheap and some are good but I wanna visit other places before heading back.

I think I've found another goal in life, to strike off the countries on my list =) So time to save up for my travels =)

My first..

2010-11-15T23:26:00.000+08:00

Today's been quite productive.. I've more or less done with my helpsheet aka cheatsheet for funds and re-did some of my funds tut.. I'm left with 3 more tuts and the exercises to do =)

Played with my nephew for a while after dinner.. He's so super cute =) He was running ard and he ran into the sofa on purpose.. Haha~

After that I came home and listened to class95 since 8+,9 cos my awesome friend told me to.. So I did that (I'm still listening) and on air was a dedication =) My first dedication on air =) It's so sweet of my awesome friend =)

[Hey awesome friend, THANKS =)]

Funny stuff~

2010-11-14T23:22:00.000+08:00

Some funny stuff which Junwei showed me.... Look at the boxed steps.. =)

I think it's really hilarious =)

Today was slightly more productive than ytd. I did most of my calc extra set except set 5.. Then went out for dinner =) Hehe.. Enjoyed myself quite a bit =)

On to more mugging tmr (after I watch hana yori dango =p)

Procrastination

2010-11-11T01:22:00.000+08:00

Gahs.. I've slacked too much today.. After the 1 hr quiz in school, I headed home and fell asleep after lunch.. Woke up and started composing a new song. I love the melody, it's really nice and now I need to write lyrics for it =) Then I did part of my tutorial before I started baking at night... I need to be more productive tmr!!!

2010-11-07T00:14:00.005+08:00

Today's been another busy day.. Went to give tuition. Afterwhich, I headed to Bugis to get more pens from Muji, bubble tea from Koi and some korean snacks from Shine Korea =) [kiakia: I've bought more Lotte Choco Pie and Pepero (I think Pepero's nicer than Pocky)]

Was attempting to finish the exercises in my linear book (there's 7 and I've only done 1.6 of it). I still have funds book to do as well as other revision stuff.. Gosh.. I'm not sure if I'll be able to finish revising =/ Especially since there's a mathlab quiz this wed (for me) and I'm not so sure witht eh commands.. I can't even rmb the first code to type at the start of each session =/

On a lighter note, I went to watch movie with my OG ppl (Qiu Jing, Evelyn, Hui Min,Yi Qian, Pei Yi, Junwei, Koon Tong, Kok Wei, Wen Hui and Zhi Tao). We had Carl's Junior for dinner before watching Megamind in 3D~ It's quite cool.. But I've watched a better movie the day before so I didn't think Megamind was that nice.. Cos 僕の初恋にキミを捧ぐ was really really ^(infinity) nice =)

僕は君に恋をする

Anw, here's the lyrics of a song from the movie which I was hooked onto:
僕は君に恋をする

もしも願いがかなうなら　

君の悲しみを僕の胸の中に
注ぎ込んでくださいその痛みならば
僕は絶えられる

未来絵がく地図も無くしてしまう
ちっぽけな僕だけれど君を見つけた

さようなら、ありがとう、好きだよ、好きだよ、
さようなら、笑ってよ、泣くなよ、バカだな
伝えたい言葉は止めどなく溢れる、
何度も、何度でも、僕は君に恋をする。
君の願いがかなうなら
全てささげると心から言える

僕がいなくなっても、消えることない、
恋色に染まる心、君と見つけた

さようなら、また会おう、御免ね、好きだよ、
さようなら、笑ってよ、おこんなよ、バカだな、
恋しい苦しい、愛しいじゃたりない、
何度も、何度でも、僕は君と恋をする。

恋する瞳と愛する痛みを
君が僕にくれた輝き忘れない
ずっと

さようなら、ありがとう、好きだよ、好きだよ、
さようなら、笑ってよ、泣くなよ、バカだな
伝えたい言葉は止めどなく溢れる、
何度も、何度でも、僕は君に恋をする。

さようなら、また会おう、御免ね、好きだよ、
さようなら、笑ってよ、おこんなよ、バカだな、
恋しい苦しい、愛しいじゃたりない、
何度も、何度でも、叫ぶよ　「好きだよ」、
さようなら

And here's the translation for those who need it =)

If my wishes came true,

Your sadness would fill me
Please throw away those feelings
I will endure them for you.

When future paintings and maps are lost,
I would still have seen a tiny part of you.

Goodbye, Thank You, I love you, I love you,
Goodbye, Keep smiling, Don't cry, Silly you,
Words that I want to convey are flowing endlessly,
No matter how many times, I fall in love with you.

Your dreams will come true,
As it could be said with all your dedications and with your heart

When I'm no longer here, I have not disappeared,
You will still find the threads of love of our hearts.

Goodbye, See you next time, I'm sorry, I love you,
Goodbye, Keep smiling, In this way, Silly you,
Painful Love, Endlessly loving,
No matter how many times, I fall in love with you.

The eyes of love and the pain of affection,
Long ago you gave to me an unforgettable radiance

Goodbye, Thank You, I love you, I love you,
Goodbye, Keep smiling, Don't cry, Silly you,
Words that I want to convey are flowing endlessly,
No matter how many times, I fall in love with you.

Goodbye, See you next time, I'm sorry, I love you,
Goodbye, Keep smiling, In this way, Silly you,
Painful Love, Endlessly loving,
No matter how many times, I will cry out “I love you”,
Goodbye...

I give my first love to you~~

2010-11-03T23:51:00.000+08:00

Watched this movie today with my awesome fren~~ It's super nice but sad.. I kept crying throughout the movie =x I'm so gonna get the dvd when it's released. It's so nice and the songs are lovely too =) No spoilers but it follows rather closely to the manga. (A bit random but I like the poster.. It's super nice.. I wanna do a shot like that too =x)

Love it to the max~~

Thanks awesome fren for pei-ing me to watch the movie =)

I believe...

2010-10-30T01:47:00.000+08:00

That someday, I'll love someone with all my heart, without the fear of making the same mistake twice.

Busy day for a little girl..

2010-10-22T21:18:00.000+08:00

It's been a busy week and it'll just get busier next week cos it'll be Halloween =) Plus there's RAG tmr =) Gonna do something for halloween =) So my sat's burned... and I've gonna keep wed and fri nights free so I can go for salsa and socials =x Not going for socials tonight cos I need to rush hw =/ Sianz.. Feeling kinda tired but I don't want to nap cos I know I'll probably not wake up till tmr =x Then my night of doing work will be gone =x